Lionel’s musings

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – APRIL 2026 – DOING THE RIGHT THING

Although we  hear reports that the prison population is ever growing, most people aim to do the right thing, and will trust that those they mix with will be also behaving with similar intent. Understanding those motivated by criminal intent is difficult to comprehend. Finding sympathy for those committing further criminal acts while on bail is challenging. Excuses for criminal activity are well worn, and not all that convincing. If nothing else, doing the right thing is based upon self interest.

The existence of ancient writings outlining desirable behaviour, such as the Hamurabi Code, and the Ten Commandments, and the writings of ancient Greek and Roman philosophers, suggest that doing the right thing has a very long and ancient history. Not only does it have a long history, but an evolving one. Consider the introduction of the topic of ethics to business degree courses, or conflicting views about marriage, termination of pregnancies, windfarms, conscription, immigration, just to mention a few.

Many organisations and professions have developed codes of conduct. Australian Unity has for example a Visitors Code of Conduct, and they are not alone in this! This code identifies aspects of onsite behaviour. Undesirable behaviour includes:

• Shouting
• Behaving in an aggressive, abusive, or belligerent manner
• Making threats of any kind
• Swearing
• Racially motivated verbal abuse and violence, including all forms of discrimination
• Making unreasonable demands
• Not following reasonable demands of Australian Unity staff about behaviours whilst while on site
• Removing or causing any damage to property belonging to Australian Unity or another person without their permission
• Making unwanted physical contact with another person
• Disrespecting dignity and privacy of others
• Being inconsiderate of noise levels and disturbing others
• Being intoxicated or affected by an illegal drug

Codes of Behaviour may be a natural outcome of slogans or mottos, or in the case of Australian Unity, a Better Together philosophy. Adoption of succinct mottos or slogans can have a powerful impact upon how an organizations and individuals within them behave. And if we consider the impact of jingles set to music we recognize an impact that lasts for a long time.

So what compels us to do the right thing?

Most of us have little difficulty in responding to philosophies based upon “Might is right.” But it does have its adherents, and the me first outlook can be hard to deal with. Another approach is to make decisions based upon what is the greatest good for the greatest possible number.

Recently, we encounter references to moral compass. In essence, this seems to be conscience, or as it has been defined, a sense of right and wrong. So how is a sense of right and wrong to be shaped?

We enter this world with genetic factors in place that may shape our response in right or wrong situations.  Some of the response will seem instinctive. Being a member of a family means our conscience is being shaped by family values in the process of growing to maturity.

Other points of reference in forming conscience may be:

• School and education
• The company we keep
• Role models
• Clubs and social activities
• Beliefs
• Relationships
• Work
• Travel
• Experiences
• Rules and regulations
• Ethics
• Trends
• Precedents
• Consequences

Trouble will be found if we knowingly go against what we have identified as the right thing. Doing the right thing is not always easy, but surely means you can live with yourself.

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – MARCH 2026 – PATIENCE

When a reader recently suggested a good topic to write about would be patience, several thoughts immediately came to mind. The first of these was “Solitaire” or “Patience”, a useful card game for filling in time. A game that may be commenced many times before coming to a successful conclusion. This is now a game accessible in many electronic forms. The card game can promote a sense of frustration.

A second thought came with a statement from the past, stating of patience that it may sometimes be found in a woman, but never in a man. No discussion is needed here because this is the type of statement that could spark fierce debate.

Another context of patience is within the Christian tradition. It would seem that the relationship between God and humankind has required God to show great patience in this relationship as it has blown hot and cold over many centuries. God it would seem, is eternally patient and operates within an endless time scale. Humankind is asked to have trust and be patient that God’s predictions/promises will be fulfilled. Take the expectation of a second coming for example. The disciples expected this to occur within their lifetimes. But now fulfilment of this expectation requires patience until who knows when?

There is a time factor at work with patience. Suppose you have made an investment with an eye to turning a quick profit. But the expected value increase is slower than required or has even declined. Should you exercise patience and take no action, but revise timelines and expectations, or just cut your losses, because you are impatient for action?

The importance of the time factor suggests patience requires guidelines if it is to work in your favour. My accounting teacher had several guidelines for investing  in shares. Don’t be greedy and allow the person following you scope for some profit.

Some writers have suggested that queues are an invention of the English, a national past  time almost. Citizens of some other nations have little time for such niceties. But being patient can help reduce frustration and anger. Almost certainly, road rage is one result of impatience.

All of which suggests that if your patience is being tested, it should be beneficial to play things safe and have a plan B or fall back position.

Most of us will be engaged in partnerships at various times of our lives. If they are to succeed they will require tolerance, compatability, forgiveness, politeness, trust, loyalty, patience, and perseverance.

Whoever adopted patients as a description for clients of professional service providers may have foreseen the patience needed to navigate services menus repeated in monotone, and assuring enquirers their call is valuable, before it drops out. Patience may also be needed in the waiting room.

But for many people turning the other cheek or patience comes naturally. it is endemic to who they are. What do we observe about those who are patient?

• Principled behaviour based upon faith or ethics
• Calmness in the midst of crisis
• Respect for others
• Considered responses
• Effective listening
• Use of precedents
• Willing to moderate personal opinions
• Discreet in dealing with sensitive matters
• Respect for opinions held by others
• Even handed

A question is, can we learn to be patient, or improve our patience?

A starting point might be the sage advice of a history teacher, hasten slowly.. Retention of words of commendation might assist in reinforcing patient behaviour. Detailing instances of impatient behaviour would assist in avoiding undesirable behaviour.

Patience seems to come from people who are comfortable with themselves. Meditation can help here as may sessions with a mentor. Reading devotional material, prayer, music and song, creative arts, and time in a quiet space can contribute to a sense of inner serenity.

But just in case, it is helpful to have a place or practice where you can let off steam!

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – FEBRUARY 2026 – CAN’T DO/CAN DO

Each of us has, within our potential box, capabilities which determine the course of our lives,

For example, few of us would have scaling tall buildings without a safety harness marked as can do. In fact marking this as can’t do is life-saving. But part of the secret of living a satisfying life is in unlocking some items marked as can’t do, and reaching towards fulfilling your potential.

One inhibiting factor can be a lack of clear goals, of having no identified aspirations. Being aimless will  lead to a life without purpose, one of wasted opportunity. To fail to plan is to plan to fail.

Some individuals always seem to present as a victim of circumstance. Whatever disaster befalls them is never their fault but caused by others. Victims see themselves as powerless.

One of the few sermons I remember was about Christmas time in Perth when a minister filling in for  the day agreed that life presents us with many challenges. Yes, it is easy to be overwhelmed, but the challenge lies in how we respond and in what we can learn from adversity.

A key to countering can,t do rests with having a heightened sense of self-awareness. Self-awareness enables us to make good decisions. We think we know what we are capable of. Good decisions should be under pinned by sound research.

Having a negative outlook is a result of a cant do attitude towards change and any proposals. Change, however offers opportunity for more can do outcomes.

One school staffroom has quite a large sign which states “NO PUT DOWNS”. This should serve as a reminder to be careful what we say. Words can exercise more power than we think, especially when directed towards young people.

Although education can be described as empowering, it may have a can’t do effect. Many young people believe they can’t do even quite simple things because they have not been trained to do them. But the generations that preceded us often had no other option than to have a go, and work things out as they went along.

Delegation can be a powerful force in can and can’t do. Those who act as if the only way to ensure a task has been completed to time and quality standards is to do it yourself, thereby cresting a load upon your back. But the can’t do person is reinforced if his/her leader is unwilling to delegate.

Self talk and self belief come into this. What messages are you giving yourself about you. What permission do you allow yourself to say yes or no? If you work with a person who is always critical of others you will quickly find your self-confidence is shattered. But positive feedback is the breakfast of champions.

Some activities are measurable and working towards lifting your game by exceeding a personal best is the way to progress forward, to become a can do person who exceeds expectations.

Time is one of life’s treasures but it is treated casually and wasted.. Attendees at time management courses fell into two streams. The first of these were already competent managers of time but who wanted to become even better. The other group were time management novices. An interesting exercise and one that was also difficult was to invite course attendees to list how their used their time on any day from the previous week. Most found this task very challenging.

Essential tools in time managing are a diary, and using to do lists. To be a competent can do person requires that most of your time is directed towards the most important tasks, not those that are pleasurable, but of less importance. Other timewasters are meetings, telephone calls,  casual drop ins, and e mails. Use of a diary provides scope for self-evaluation. Did you use time well? Is there scope for improvement?

When it comes to what you can’t do, and what you can do, it is vital to take control. Can do’s offer scope for improvement. Cant do’s should perhaps stay there, or be satisfied by others with expertise in different skill areas. All of which suggest that delegation is a vital can do skill.

As the years advance people are heard to say more often that health is more important than wealth. Good health is assisted by having good genes, but is enhanced by being diet aware and regular exercise. Even sleep can contribute to good health.

Concentrating on can do strengths is implicit in the sayings that practice makes perfect and that persistence pays.

Getting most things done requires co-operation with others. Enabling can do calls for being comfortable with others and in having an extensive network.

In summary:

• Keep a diary
• Set goals
• Take control
• Focus on what is important
• Delegate
• Eliminate time wasters
• Stick to your strengths
• Broaden your network
• Take stock
• Be healthy
• Enhance your strengths

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – JANUARY 2026 – TRUST

Among the many sayings attributed to Jesus is one that states simply what is central to his ministry. This is the exhortation to ‘love one another’. Time has shown this to be easier said than done even although to achieve this would make the world a different and a better place., where trust can be construed as offering love.

Perhaps Jesus’ intent might be also achieved if he had urged us to trust one another. But to practice giving and receiving trust is just as difficult!

The concept of trust is comforting, and to be found in faith and other communities. There are financial connotations where placing money in a trust offers a sense of added security. Legal firms operate trust funds in which they offer a holding facility. Trust funds are regularly audited, to ensure all is fair and above board. Banks may designate some accounts as trust accounts. Many wills stipulate that some assets be held in trust either during the lifetime of a partner, before being passed on, or until a legatee reaches a certain age, or satisfies certain conditions.

There is a song which states that “love makes the world go round.” The same might be said of trust. There can be no doubt that a world where love and trust are in short supply or even non-existent would be a miserable place.

We can think of trust as being present between two or more people coming together for mutual benefit with a commonly understood starting point in order to achieve shared objectives. Often present will be a shared faith that all parties will honour their commitments. Also understood will be consequences of not fulfilling trust obligations.

A  trust understanding will be founded on truth and commitment – as a hymn says “trust and obey, for there’s no other way.” Yet trust is assumed in many ways; assuming that transport will run on time, that governments act in the best interests of citizens, that traffic lights inform our movements, that professionals such as doctors, accountants, lawyers and others will provide information and advice that is consistent with our best interests.

When we reflect upon trust, other qualities may be present. Reliability is one. Is a man or woman as good as his/her word? Can understandings be sealed with a handshake any more or do they need to be swamped in legalese? What do prenuptial agreements tell us about the status of trust?

Inherent to trust is honesty. Remember that saying that if it’s too good to be true, then it’s unlikely to be true! Any sense of mistrust should set warning lights flashing  Trust cannot proceed if one or more parties is running a secret agenda or is seeking advantage through misrepresentation

Where people join together in pursuit of a common cause, there is a shared trust that all will contribute to the utmost of their capacity. One successful AFL coach said he would rather have a team of triers than a team comprising those who were terrific contributors, but only when they put their mind to it. There can be nothing more exasperating than being part of a group in which some members are not pulling their weight!

Films, television, and literature have glamourized a concept of honour amongst thieves, that partners in crime can be trusted to keep their lips sealed. There are many good reasons why criminals would not inform on one another with personal safety high on the list. On the other hand, reductions to a potentially long sentence does have some appeal!

In her recently published book, “Code of silence”, Diana Thorp outlines the emphasis given to young women tracking communications in World War Two. For them the significance of being told not to discuss their activities with anyone held for many years after the war had concluded. But this amply demonstrates another aspect of trust, confidentiality.

One aim of trust is to keep information and intellectual property secret from the prying of ever- increasing scammers and hackers. We note the use of no compete clauses in employment contracts. Some organisations require employees  to sign  secrecy agreements.

In truth many are the roles that require discretion and good judgement in upholding trust. Professions such as accounting, law, medicine, psychology, education and occupations such as management, market research, human resources, industrial relations, aged care, public service.

Persons of faith are continually challenged to uphold their trust in God or a Supreme Being. It is nonsensical to think of God as a work  in progress. The work in progress is us and upholding trust is the never ending challenge.

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – DECEMBER 2025 – MANAGERS

Managers are everywhere. They are indispensable for getting things done and for making them happen. They can be found in all organisations, big and small. They practice their craft in business, public service, clubs, sport, not-for-profits, ,education, health, armed services, para military bodies, tourism, agriculture, and so on. Even church and other faith bodies have managers.

Seventy years ago I was employed by a medium-sized accounting firm. One of two senior partners asked me to calculate partial repayments to creditors in a liquidation and draw up refund cheques for his signature. But there was a problem – several creditors were located overseas. At the time, sending Australian currency offshore was complicated and incurred additional costs. A junior partner supported me, but the senior partner insisted I should “just send the bloody cheques.”

Later that day he called me to his office and suggested I remember that the boss is always right even when he is wrong. A week or so later a polite letter arrived from the bank requesting his signature on a form.

On another occasion the partner asked me to get a Bible for swearing purposes. Another liquidation required creditors to complete under oath a proof of debt. No bible was available so our senior partner substituted a dictionary and held his breath.

A junior partner in this firm subsequently saved his own neck with a difficult client letting me be blamed for something he did. I decided to seek new fields  after that episode.

Far and away my worst experience occurred 60 years ago when I was working for a public utility. Returning from my honeymoon I was informed of a meeting with the newly appointed EDP Manager on my first day back. At this meeting I received an ill-tempered, vitriolic verbal spray from a person I had never met. The conclusion was obvious. This man would be almost impossible to work for!

At one stage my manager attended a training program on managing. Completion of a questionnaire enabled assessment of managerial style. Attendees confidently assessed their style as democratic. The course presenter suggested the style of each was autocratic.

A form of management not as evident as in the past was evident in the harangues of sports coaches. These appeared to operate on the basis of try harder and with passionate delivery, interlaced with colourful Australian idiom, be sufficient to ensure victory.

It would be wrong to assume that managers as a group are uniformly poor. Avoiding the not so good and aligning with the excellent is what it is all about. So what qualities/attributes might be sought?

Not all managers are bad – far from it. One desirable quality that often emerges when groups are reflecting on how their functioning might be improved is communication, with each other and from above. No-one likes being kept in the dark!

Central to communication are other desirable qualities such as trust, and honesty, being asked to express an opinion on the issues of the day.

Good managers are also distinguished by being good leaders, but not all managers are good leaders. Leaders are far sighted and can discern trends ahead of most people. Leaders are versatile, flexible, and can take others with them. They attract talented people who want to work with them.

Many managers find that excellence in a specialisation leads to a management role. They may also discover that excellence as a manager does not come naturally. Those working for a manager may find some qualities that make for good management. Qualities such as fairness, and of treating those being managed equally and not playing favourites. If a manager is respected by his/her peers those being managed will benefit. And if push comes to shove in internal politics a manager who has your back is essential.

While there are some managers who feel threatened by having talented staff under their direction, an enlightened manager will derive satisfaction if he or she has helped talented people move ahead by providing challenging assignments, professional development, and opportunities to enhance skills. These managers are good delegators and use their time shrewdly.

Sound managers give and receive loyalty and deal with problems decisively. They will also be people who conduct themselves with integrity.

The complexity of a manager’s role is often not fully appreciated.. It is true that some managers are paid salaries that seem excessive. But consider the role of a school principal, of whom there are many. These are vital roles requiring a range of skills and knowledge and having to satisfy a variety of audiences.

If a manager is to succeed, he or she will need to be flexible and adaptive in terms of identifying the management style that is most effective with a variety of personality types. Some people work best if left to themselves, others almost demand that they be managed closely

A young engineer explained to an audience that he saw his future in management. After 9 months his boss dropped by and asked if he could look after the new graduate commencing the next week. Thus commenced his career in management!

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – NOVEMBER  2025 – RECONCILIATION

Each school year brought with it the excitement of being exposed to new subjects. In 1953, for me, there were not only new subjects, but a new school. One new subject in year nine was CPP. Commercial  Principles and Practice introduced Accounting – debtors, creditors, assets, liabilities, trial balances, balance sheets, interest, commission, journal entries, stock, depreciation, tax, cheques and other financial instruments such as promissory notes.

Each month my father would compare pay in stubs and cheque stubs with entries on his monthly bank statement to ensure his records agreed with those of the bank. This process was known as undertaking a bank reconciliation.

From the dizzy world of accounting we can learn something of reconciliation. Reconciliation in this context suggest an agreed starting point, everything in a state of balance, a clean slate, a common ground, a right relationship.

This is a starting point for fresh beginnings for critical relationships that are worth preserving in a state of balance.

What comes to mind is utilising a capacity to appreciate differing views and opinions, especially if they form barriers to reconciliation. What may also be required is a sense of forgiveness and a willingness to admit you have been wrong, or of being fallible.

For reconciliation to work requires commitment. Consider amnesties to end military conflict. Without commitment, and a few other things such as trust and a genuine desire for peace, they cannot be effective. Honesty is another factor in reconciliation.

Reconciliation will work if parties to it can find common ground. Part of the process may be offer and acceptance, with each offer requiring a response. Fresh beginnings call for slates to be wiped clean!

Reconciliation implies a coming together again of relationships that have ceased functioning. A process that has mended what was broken should be celebrated,  and will require constant attention and communication if the benefits are to continue. Successful reconciliation should also be worthy of commemoration.

Reconciliation  is something that has meaning in a faith context. Interestingly, one reference states that there is no directly equivalent word for it in Hebrew. The same reference, J J van Allman’s Vocabulary of the Bible is quite emphatic that the initiator of reconciliation, is God who through the unique and decisive intervention in history in Jesus, offers the prospect of reconciliation to all. One can think of it as God welcoming all with outstretched arms.

Second Corinthians 5:19 states the position well, God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself.

IN SUMMARY

What may be present in reconciliation

• Desire to wipe the slate clean and achieve fresh beginnings
• Love and respect
• Peace
• Forgiveness
• Appreciation of other points of view
• Honesty and honest dealings
• Celebration
• Trust
• Commemoration
• Humility
• Common ground
• Offer, response, and acceptance
• Generosity of spirit
• Determination
• Commitment

For Christians, God has extended the offer of reconciliation in the life and resurrection of Jesus. For non-Christians the offer is ongoing.

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – OCTOBER 2025 – FUNERAL SERVICES

Keen readers of death notices may have noticed a few emerging trends over the years. For some and more long- standing denominations, the format for funeral services is a liturgy that has stood the test of time. The Church is in charge and there are few, if any surprises, apart from the eulogy and the odd surprise revelations about the life of the deceased.

Few would deny that funeral services and what has led up to them are times when emotions run high. This is one reason why familiar liturgies are a source of comfort and strength. We may wonder whether repeating a liturgy format over and over again has any real value. A comment from one minister, who presided over morning prayer every Sunday commented that rather than lose meaning through such repetition, the words have the power to refresh and provide new meaning.

So there is this about funeral liturgies, being able to hand this part of grieving to a professional, one less thing to worry about at a time when support is invaluable.

Part of what undertakers offer is a sense of professionalism and comfort. An appropriate way to signify the conclusion of this life!

Several examples provide an insight into how some Australians prepare for departure from this life. The death notice from one Australian was brief, and to the point. It read “I have ceased to exist.”

We may also discern something from the number of Australians who have pre—paid for their funerals, to save others from worrying about this.

The final example concerns a former life insurance executive who filled in an idle moment by inventing a new form of life insurance he mischievously named “Wake Insurance”. After all what Australian would not want to celebrate in style by buying a final round of drinks for relatives and friends? The trouble was this idea appealed quickly to so many people he had to react quickly and explain this was only a joke.

Perhaps our understanding of funerals might be assisted by considering who the stakeholders are. These might include:

• Faith communities
• Relatives
• Friends and acquaintance
• Debtors and creditors
• Banks
• Undertakers
• Civil celebrants
• Grief counsellors
• Sports
• The deceased

The question is, who is a funeral for?

Sports people often wear black armbands to honour some one with a club connection. Historically, family members would wear black clothing for a designated grieving period.

And the modern trend is for funerals, rather than the sombre and serious events of the past adopt an approach of celebrating the life of the deceased. At one service I attended, the last part of the service, for an ex serviceman, was conducted by the RSL. And I have been told that a very popular, if not the most popular tune at funerals is “I did it my way.” Perhaps it might be more appropriate to change the wording to “I did it God’s way”.

A recent trend with funerals is a number where the service structure has been compiled by the deceased. Why, you might ask, is this the case?  For obvious reasons we are unable to ask those who have done this what their motives  were. We can speculate that it might somehow be an act of defiance or independence – doing it their way, as it were.

It may well be, that having sat through a life time of sermons,  the deceased does believe he or she can do better. There is a fair chance that many of those attending funerals seldom attend church, if at all. Those attending may not want something “too churchy”.

Then again, those who might like to put their own service together might hesitate because of what they perceive to be their own theological limitations.

More than likely, those attracted to preparing their own funeral service are those for whom neatness, tidiness, and no loose ends are compelling factors in how they behave. I am sure most of us know of individuals who know their end is near, want to be as sure as they can, that no loose ends have been left behind them. Those who have had to deal with tidying up the affairs of someone would have appreciated a neater situation.

Consideration of the life and death of Jesus may be instructive. He knew how his life was to end and made appropriate preparations. He also left a process in remembrance of him.  Holy Communion continues from his time to ours, as a communal act. As such, it has an appropriate place in funeral liturgies.

Lionel Parrott

NEW FROM MONTROSE – SEPTEMBER 2025 – DEPRESSION

An article in Wikipedia suggests 3.5% of the world’s population is acquainted with depression.. Certainly within Australia the impact of depression is significant. Those working in the broader field of mental health express frustration that policy  makers and bureaucrats regard mental health issues as one off and fixable rather than recurring and episodic!

Fortunately, attitudes towards mental illness, with more informed understanding, have softened, but not totally disappeared. Here are some terms that may be associated with depression:

• Addictions
• Anger
• Change
• Diet/nutrition
• Events
• Failure
• Finances
• Fire, flood, and natural disasters
• Genetic factors
• Gloom
• Grief
• Guilt
• Health
• Homelessness
• Honest feedback
• Loneliness
• Mood swings
• Overwhelmed/not coping
• Pain
• Pessimism
• Relationships
• Retirement
• Sadness
• Self image
• Sleep issues
• Stress
• Termination of employment
• Under or unemployment
• Unrealistic expectations

The list above, although not covering all possibilities, does suggest that many situations involving depression, finding a cure is simply not going to come from a visit to the doctor for a prescription. Almost certainly, depression will not be the only factor at work, thereby complicating any treatment.

Dealing with mental health issues, such as depression, can be assisted by keeping a detailed diary. Individuals may not realise they have depression, but they may be aware that something is amiss. Even doctors are not infallible, and it may take some time before they get a clear picture of what may be happening. A diary can help shorten the process of gathering information, and eliminating various possibilities.

A consequence of depression can be that individuals retreat into themselves and in doing so have diminished capacity for social interaction. Increasingly, in articles about depression and mental health, there are references to the need for caring for carers. Carers such as partners, family members, and good friends can find themselves drawn into the experience of depression and are themselves drawn into experiencing its impact. Some of the consequences are wondering what a next episode will be. Those feeling themselves increasingly drawn into consequences need to be very watchful over the impact upon themselves, and to be strong enough to tack a step backwards if the burden becomes too heavy.

So where to start? Apart from recording instances in a diary, the next port of call should be a doctor. He or she will gather evidence and develop a case history. This may lead to prescriptions and referrals to other specialists. Part of the doctor’s approach is to eliminate possible causes. If taking medication, be aware of potential side effects, and do not spend too much time gathering information on the internet. Also be wary of using non-prescribed pills.

Writers about depression offer a number of actions that might be taken, and remember depression can take many forms. Fitness and weight could be a cause so controlling what you eat may help. Aging can be a factor. With age can come a reduced capacity for dealing with issues. Depression can be thought of as the shortfall between the expectations you and others have of you.

The term SMART applies here:

S = Specific     M = Measurable     A = Achievable     R = Realistic     T = Time focussed

Depression can be the result of unrealistic goals.

The benefits of maintaining fitness are often stressed – healthy body, healthy mind! And many people find some form of meditation is beneficial.

Visits to a counsellor may also be helpful. There are therapists offering music therapy which can no doubt prove to be a soothing influence.

It has been said that we are judged by the company we keep. Depression can be managed more effectively if we surround ourselves with good people!

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – AUGUST 2025 – CHILDREN OF THE MANSE

When those who have been church members for some years meet for a cuppa, and chat, conversation occasionally turns to why is it that so many of their children have little interest in the church? Memories can go back to a time when expectations of ministers were visited upon their wives and their children. Now we can see this was hardly fair.

My own father attended church three times daily until his late teens and then he ceased. In later years he said he was “churched out.” He never recovered although he always declared himself to be C of E or Anglican. He did however audit the parish account for many years.

My mother attended a church school, but was rarely sighted in a church. But that’s the problem. How is it that so many people exposed to church settings turned away from them?

From our present times and looking backward to the 1950’s and early sixties, it is difficult to remember how strongly controlled observance of the sabbath was held. Visitors to Australia were amazed that everything seemed to shut at 5pm and that almost nothing opened on Sundays. The church had the field to itself with morning and evening services, and thriving Sunday Schools (Remember them?)

Churches conducted dances (unless dancing was considered sinful). They ran cricket teams, football clubs, and tennis teams as well as sporting associations. Methodist even had a team in the top grade of tennis. Then various youth groups catered for young people – MYF, CEB’s, YCW, CYMS, and so on. There was the annual Sunday school picnic and annual concert, treasure hunts and other activities. Every school had at least one period of Religious Instruction.

Things started to change when the migrant intake broadened. The newcomers liked playing soccer on Sundays, but charging entry fees was forbidden. So entry fees became “donations”. Some of my team mates refused to pay or donate and vaulted the turnstiles. Still, few Australians played soccer so who cared if visiting teams belted the locals and had more supporters than the locals?

But these were the heady times of Billy Graham, attracting a record crowd to the MCG. A local hardware shop opening on Sundays in spite of fines.

Gradually things changed. The Uniting Church came into being after years of discussion but its membership, like those of other established denominations, has been declining. The number of people responding to God’s call to enter the ministry has dropped quite sharply, despite the stipend having improved.

Some denominations have growing numbers of female ministers, and this does not appear to be harmful. And a growing percentage of ministers is coming from Asia and pacific islands to our north. This trend will have impact upon the church.

All churches have experienced some impact from well publicised misdemeanours of those representing it. And theologically, many churches now welcome minority groups whom it once had issues with.

Many denominations once had bookshops based in the city. But theology now appears to have disappeared from many bookshelves. New technologies now provide much of contemporary thinking and are accessible to many people who can tune into a variety of worship times that are convenient to them. This changes the sense of community.

More established denominations, architecturally at least, present an outdated face to the world. It looks tired and outmoded. The newer, large gatherings have been bold enough to build for larger communities and to offer worship that is energising, entertaining and appealing to young people. They also use financial clout to be active and visible in the broader community.

The Sundays of the past are very different from the bustling Sundays of today. Even holy days now give way to the demands of entertainment. Church services were once telecast. Roly Tasker on behalf of the Christian Television Association, closed the viewing each evening with an Epilogue.

On Sundays, many vehicles headed for hotels beyond a 20 mile limit of the city for the men to enjoy a beer while their wives and children were left to amuse themselves. Those car parks were full every Sunday. It is unlikely these were church going families.

But the advent of television on the back of the 1956 Olympics, and Walt Disney epics at 6:30 provided stiff competition for Sunday evening services. And soon, the only exposure to Christian stories and beliefs  families experienced was through various Hollywood epics.

Young families, in the process of establishing themselves found any spare time was absorbed in earning income. Now we are experiencing the consequences of high housing prices and a shortage of accommodation.

The reaction to COVID when churches were closed attracted barely a squeak of protest. How times have changed! Still with religion a no-go area in public schooling this is hardly surprising.

If things are to change, churches will need to change. No longer is it sufficient to hide behind church walls and wait for people to come. People have already voted on that one. We are moving to a period of poorly attended churches being closed, sold off, and being cash poor and asset rich. And still we hear of visitors attending churches and no one speaking to them!

An obvious initiative would be to go where people are, to reconnect with  community, not to be too proud to learn from churches that are thriving, respond to the shortage of ministers, and to demystify language. Rediscovering a sense of humility would do no harm either.

In the 50’s churches had a near monopoly on baptisms, confirmations, weddings, and funerals. Civil celebrants have responded to an opportunity here. Perhaps churches should try and regain some of this lost ground?

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – JULY 2025 – PARTNERSHIPS

Are two heads better than one? That is the question when contemplating a partnership. Yet partnerships are not just for two people. They exist where individuals find common purpose in conducting an activity or in striving to achieve a common objective.

So why form a partnership?

• To acquire an injection of finance
• Improving market share
• Expansion of knowledge
• Extending know how
• Expanding social and professional networks
• Completion of a project, task, or set of tasks
• Reinforcing skills sets
• Establishing personal relationships
• Gaining emotional support
• Establishing a means of conducting a business as in eg accounting, medical practice, legal practice, architectural business etc.
• Participation in some sports
• Succession planning
• Ensuring survival

For most people who find themselves styled as a partner in a professional services firm, becoming a partner represents achieving a milestone that has been on the table since they commenced with the firm, provided the other partners agree to accept them into the partnership.

Other situations are different and often less clearly defined. Those seeking to enter a partnership arrangement need to have a very good self-understanding and an awareness of what they offer a potential partner. But they also need to be very clear about what they seek to gain.

Engaging in a relationship exercise potentially culminating in marriage, or a decision to live with someone is an exercise is an activity most of us engage in at sometime. At the onset, living with a close partner for 50 years or more seems inconceivable. The rate of divorce indicates that relationship partnerships are not without risk. The increasing use of prenuptial agreements also suggests that “till death us do part” does not carry the force it once did.

When it comes to finding a partner, it seems unlikely that searchers assess potential partners against a list of selection criteria. But this must be what dating agencies, which are increasing in number, must do, looking for matches based on common interest. Probably in many cases, the heart rules the head.

When it comes to ending relationships, some of them do run their course when the personal growth and aspirations of each partner move in different directions.

A rapid and increasing rate of change demands entering into partnerships designed to provide knowledge, skills, and experience, guided by parents, professional developers, mentors, and careers counsellors. Fortunately, distance education has enhanced the accessibility of learning. There are also many providers of education in addition to universities and institutes.

Learning is now available in many formats. One that is not used as much as it might be is through exchange to other workplaces. Programs that include work placements are valuable.

Skills, knowledge, and experience can be acquired through learning partnerships with learning providers. Crucial here is gaining some competence in accounting/finance, statistics, and computer technology. Although other skills will be useful, these ones assume significance because decisions are informed by data expressed numerically and processed electronically.

Voluntary work provides an extensive range of opportunities to gain knowledge and experience and can open fresh career opportunities, although this may not be the intention at first.

Within Christian communities, partnerships can be described as a covenant. These define the conduct between God and the community and the practice of partnership, how it should operate. Formation of covenants goes back a long way in history and much has been written on this subject. One interesting aspect is that conclusion of a covenant gave rise to much celebration and feasting.

But partnerships are not all beneficial. Some are best not entered into at all, and some should be concluded early in the piece. It is prudent to be vigilant over the progress of your partner ships .

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – JUNE 2025 – REJECTION

Feeling rejected can occur when an outcome you had anticipated does not happen. It can impact severely upon your self-esteem. It can arise from being ignored, overlooked, mistreated, abused, patronised, or unsuccessful. It can lead to self-pity, negative feelings, bitterness, damaged relationships, anger, unbalanced decision making and harmed self-image, and sadness. Another reaction can be to retreat into yourself.

About sixty years ago, an acquaintance of mine called off his proposed wedding just before it was due to happen. This act of jilting his fiancée was just not the done thing and cost him plenty. But he went on to marry someone else with whom he spent the rest of his life. But calling off his wedding would almost certainly have had a devastating impact on his then girl friend.

A sense of rejection is unfortunately never far away when a marriage or relationship dissolves. Something like 30% of marriages end in divorce and prenuptial agreements have become more common. Many relationships end in bitterness and recrimination and solicitors prosper, and the fallout harms more than the former partners.

Unless we recognise rejection, or being unsuccessful for what it is, part of everyday life, an unwelcome outcome can be depression or some other form of illness. Being unsuccessful can occur with tendering, applications for employment, defeats in sport, proposals declined, cancellation of eagerly anticipated events, or even consequences of COVID.

Staff selection provides some interesting examples. One young man who had just completed a university degree eventually gained a position with a large company,  becoming in time the CEO, but he was so angered by the manner in which some companies responded to his approaches that he vowed his company would never do business with them.

A young woman was sent to see me by her parents who hoped I would talk some sense into her. Her year 12 results were outstanding, good enough to gain admission to medicine or Law, but she wanted to become a primary teacher. We met once a year and she breezed through her primary teaching degree, BUT primary teaching jobs were scarce. She became angered by the dismissive attitude of schools she approached and headed in a new direction.

Another graduate in her first position became concerned her friends were being promoted faster than she was. When employing batches of young people,  absorbing them takes time. As one young person put it, he spent the first six months in an accounting firm acquiring a sun tan from the photocopier, but you just need to be patient. At least this person did not catch his tie in the paper shredder as happened to another new starter!

One final year student attended the last day of interviews with a well -known company. He was not one of the four offered positions, but each of those who missed were given very positive feedback stressing how well they had done in making the final day. Yes, he had missed out but was left feeling very positive about himself and secured a position soon after.

The tax partner of an accounting firm was unusually late for a luncheon appointment one day. A business man had fronted at reception and asked to see him. The tax partner had treated this man’s daughter so kindly during what was for her an unsuccessful job application that the business man vowed to deal with the tax partner when some of his activities transferred to Australia. Doing job interviews properly can lead to unexpected benefits.

On the subject of interviews a sensitive situation often arises when internal candidates apply for an advertised vacancy. Should they be interviewed? And how should they be treated when eliminated from the process. Remember, many organisations proclaim “Our people are our greatest asset”. But it does not always feel that way!

So how might feelings of rejection be managed?

The first thing to establish is whether you have over-reacted. Do others around you agree with your impression? Try and take a balanced view. What can you change about how you handle things in future if a similar situation presents?

Are there opportunities here? Remember Robert Bruce and the spider. Be patient and persistent. I was door knocked one hot Sunday afternoon by a person selling life insurance. I remarked this was a tough way to earn a living. He explained that the way he thought of it was that every rejection brought him closer to  a yes!

Sparing compassion for yourself helps. Parading unhappiness before someone you hope to impress is a great turn off. An interviewer will quickly recognise unspoken matters that suggest you have been through this routine before and anticipate the same outcome. Remain positive and optimistic and indulge in self-talk.

Prepare yourself by researching your target as thoroughly as you can. Signs of this will impress your listener and boost confidence that you are on top of your game. And rehearse how you will present your case – practice brings perfection closer.

You may feel rejection if a group is slow to accept you, but if the group has been formed for some time, accepting new members will take time, even if the group is friendly and well disposed.

Having a Plan B, or even a Plan C is always prudent. Be flexible, adaptable, and willing to give new things a go, even a prayer might help and open up fresh possibilities! And take your time – you never know what may be just around the corner.

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – MAY 2025 – GOVERNANCE

Few of us are not cheered when asked to provide information and advice that draws upon our experience or reputation. I have read several CV’s, admittedly some time past, in which the author indicated he had been head-hunted for a previous role.

Although most of us have been spared the honour of being approached to join the board of a publicly listed company, in the process drawing a generous director’s fee, many have been approached to join committees or reference groups, or similar bodies directing the affairs of sporting bodies, educational organisations, community and welfare groups, and so on.

But before joining a committee or board, some close  investigation of what you might be taking on would be prudent. In times long gone when corporate boards came under less close scrutiny, memberships of boards came through contacts or introductions from professional services firms.

Now it is likely a board member will have completed a course dealing with board functions and responsibilities and have obtained some experience eg on a school or sporting body. Using a corporate board as a guide, ask yourself how competent or confident you would be in deliberating upon the following:

• Core business
• Finance – cash flow and treasury operations, budgets
• Risk management
• Technology and systems
• Strategic planning
• Policy
• Board performance
• Reputational integrity
• Matters to do with the CEO
• Conflicts of interest

But there are other considerations. One is to examine with care constitutional matters defining the board ie a Memorandum of Articles of Association, a constitution, or something similar.

Another is to determine whether controlled entities are involved, or indeed whether what you have been invited to join is the board of a controlled entity.

Always pay close attention to the capabilities of the board chair and his/her relationship with the CEO. Be aware that difficulties can arise if board members become too engaged in operational issues. Examine carefully the capabilities of board members. Be careful if there is a rapid turnover of board members. Think about processes for becoming a board member – are they elected, co-opted, or tapped on the shoulder?

I would be very reluctant to accept a board position without indemnity insurance which comes in handy if certain difficulties were to arise..

Good boards usually are small in terms of members. Large boards can be frustrating for those who like to get things done. They will also be well served with administrative support that chases up reports, follows up due dates, takes minutes and circulates them once the Chair has seen them, acts as first point of contact, and who maintains  a robust policy framework. The administrative function should initiate regular reviews of the board’s performance.

But it is not only stock exchange listed companies that have governing bodies. Some o these are quite substantial. The General Manager of one university at one stage claimed the budget of his university was larger than that of a small Australian state! Governance impacts upon universities and other higher bodies, schools, health networks, transport systems, public utilities, trade unions, superannuation bodies, member driven bodies, sporting organisations, and so on.

Suddenly, new areas of concern have arisen, and different things such as data bases detailing individuals have become sought after. Cyber security is now a matter for concern. Gaining access to data belonging to others offers prospect of reward.

Corporate bodies are best defended against unwanted incursions. Opportunities for acquiring things of value are likely to be prevalent in smaller bodies, where checks and balances are not as rigid. Items of value such as cash and merchandise can present temptation to those who would live beyond their means. Even your local football club might have an annual turnover of half-a-million dollars each year. Even church bodies are not exempt from a few dollars being diverted to private pockets.

If you are invited to join the governing body of a smallish body make certain it is incorporated, and that books of account are audited. Pay close attention to cash handling and payment processes.

In some organisations, eyes glaze over when the treasurer delivers a report. Become financially literate to the point of comprehending progress and budgets and expenditure. Who authorises expenditure and signs the cheques? And pay close attention to variations from one year to the next.

If joining a governing body, do so with your eyes wide open and be prepared to ask the hard questions if they need to be asked.

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – APRIL 2025 – GRATITUDE

In his introduction to a training film dealing with performance appraisal, an English actor in his overview comments “in performance appraisal, the accent should be on praise.”,

Fine sentiments indeed, and if only this were true. But having conducted many performance appraisal training programs, and dealt with the fall out from performance appraisal sessions that have not gone well, I suggest that very few managers praise their staff.  The experience of most workers is that they seldom, if ever receive praise but hear plenty of comment if they have not done what is expected.

Perhaps this is why one of our readers suggested I might like to write something on the subject of gratitude. Strangely, neither of my two Bible directories had any comment on gratitude.

But the first example which came into my mind was that of the managing partner of a professional services firm. His practice was to write by hand on best quality paper personal notes expressing gratitude for an action by clients, employees, or colleagues. This custom was a very rare thing, possibly encountered overseas where his career had been spent prior to arriving in Australia.

Since the advent of e mail, expressions of gratitude have increased. After all, e mail facilitates dashing off a quick word of thanks. But to return to the personal hand written note. Was the intention to create a business benefit? I don’t believe so. Although it is true a recipient of a note of gratitude might exert a fraction more energy on future transactions. A note of gratitude certainly helps in building a network!

A common saying in the past, and less so now, is that “One good turn deserves another.” Good turns can be prompters of a sense of gratitude, but a good turn does not demand an immediate good turn in return, indeed it may never be returned. However, if an opportunity arises to return a favour does arise there is an expectation that it will happen. But individuals are sometimes described as “takers” and “givers.”

Expressions of gratitude may be short and long term. Remember the conferring of Knighthoods? These days the conferring of Australia Day Honours might be taken as a formal gesture of government expressing gratitude on behalf of the community, for the efforts of individuals.

Long lasting gratitude is exemplified in recognition of significant military events and individuals who have exhibited bravery. Organisations such as the RSL and Legacy express gratitude over a lengthy time scale. The main streets of most small towns serve as reminders with their memorials and lists of names. Then again there are large memorials in bigger towns and Canberra.

A moving, but not so common expression of gratitude may be discerned in avenues of honour, where trees are planted to commemorate individual soldiers who did not return. Another example is in propagating a pine tree from a seed taken from Gallipoli which becomes a focal point for expressing gratitude.

There are many ways in which gratitude  is expressed: celebration of anniversaries, jewellery, life memberships, excellence awards, tattoos, naming of facilities, names of children, death notices and celebration of a life at a funeral service, religious observance, etc.

In one church I attended, intercessory prayers included placing a sum of money in a gift box in the sanctuary by way of expressing gratitude for prayers that had been heard. And a taxi driver who was a Muslim explained to me that he made a contribution for each prayer session he missed due to his employment.

The practice of worship and expression of faith may be construed as an act of gratitude. As the words of one hymn states it “Great things he has done.”

Using part or all of a Psalm as a call to worship is not uncommon. The Psalmist, a song writer or poet, is expressing gratitude for the protection and assurance that God has, and will, provide.

Church services and other gatherings often open proceedings with an acknowledgement of country, a recognition that First Nations people’s stewardship of the land over many thousands of years, has a special significance well deserving of our gratitude on more than a one-off basis.

Prayers of praise, adoration, and confession reflect our gratitude for the special relationship God has with us. As another Hymn states, we are made in God’s likeness.

Readings, and reflections upon them may include insights from the past and for the future. On a good day, they will refresh our faith and enhance our understanding of why we should express our gratitude.

As we give, so shall we receive. And our contribution of time, in kind, of effort, money, and of love for each other, are expressions of gratitude.

Worship concludes with a blessing and an exhortation. Here, several  thoughts may be helpful. One is the new commandment, to love one another as I have loved you. In other words we should give and receive gratitude.

The second is to be still and know that God is. If we reflect upon or lives we should find that God has been active in our lives much more energetically than we realised. Have we always remembered to show gratitude for a kind deed? Or just accepted something as our due?

Go harder at listening and showing gratitude!

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONROSE – MARCH 2025 – MEDICAL DIRECTIVES

On more than one occasion, public reference has been made to the relatively high number of Australians who die intestate ie who had not made a will. This is thought to be around 50%. This suggests that other documentation, such as powers of attorney and advance care planning are also not in place for Australians, probably at a higher rate of neglect. The question for each of us is when the medical emergency comes will those who have to pick up the pieces when we can no longer manage them ourselves be prepared?

While some of us are quite comfortable passing on and leaving  others to sort out their affairs others, perhaps more responsible people, take steps to appoint powers of attorney or other responsible persons such as a medical treatment decision maker, to act for us when we are no longer able to act for ourselves.

I suspect that when appointing a power of attorney, financial matters are the first consideration. The thinking is then to deal with medical issues as well. Commonly couples appoint partners as holding their power. With the passing of years medical issues start to loom large (health rather than wealth). After all, the person holding medical power has your life in his or her hands, especially where life support is concerned.

When making important decisions it is common to inform them by gathering as much background information as possible. A would be holder of medical powers of attorney or medical treatment decision maker will need a sound appreciation of the person they might act for. Increasingly individuals are preparing their own autobiography, which is very helpful, but increasingly much visual and audio background  material is available.

Helpful information in understanding an individual’s background can be:

• Parental and family background
• Education
• Career history and achievements
• Dwellings
• Sport
• Clubs
• Hobbies and interests
• Travel
• Partner(s) and children
• Faith and/or spiritual values
• Skills and talents

Helpful factors in identifying a person who can act for you in what can be life and  death situations are some of these qualities:

• Relevant experience
• Objectivity
• Communication skills
• Decision making
• Consultation
• Problem solving
• Readily accessible
• Copes with stress and emotions

Death notices quite often include the statement “A life well lived”. While this may mean different things to individuals, this sentiment rests at the centre of how we understand the relationship between an individual and a person with medical decision making power.

In understanding our insight into our own lives and its purpose, conversations with a medical treatment decision maker, family, friends, those who know us well, and professionals with a sound understanding of our medical history. And what may emerge is that those who know us well often see us differently to how we see ourselves!

In completing an Advance Care Directive for Adults form made under the Medical Treatment Planning and Decisions Act 2016 (Vic) seeks information about current health issues, what matters most in your life, what worries you most about your future, unacceptable outcomes of medical treatment after illness or injury. The form invites details of a values directive, details of people involved in care discussions, and things that are important if nearing death.

In any event instructions for your care need to be fully documented and unambiguous. Without clear directions, medical people will attempt to prolong your life. Instructions about treatment not acceptable to you should be very precise.

Another factor to be considered is palliative care, which is not always fully understood. Palliative care advocates are of the opinion that it should be available to every Australian.

IN Conclusion:

• Contact My Government
• Identify options
• Compare and contrast no care, home care, and aged care
• Discuss your preferences with your GP, family, friends, and aged care provider
• Describe your wishes in writing. Be as specific as you can
• Circulate copies of your wishes
• Review annually

Interesting in formation about palliative care and Advanced Care Planning is contained in in advertorials in The Senior’s March edition (pp 50 and 52). Page 3 also informs us that changes to Voluntary Assisted Dying laws are coming.

The Victorian Government has produced helpful information in a brief publication :Instructions for completing the Advance care directive for adults form.”

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – FEBRUARY 2025 – LOST FOR WORDS

One of the colourful scenes at a University is a graduation ceremony. Graduands dressed in their finery and in academic dress. Proud friends and parents, many from overseas, busy taking photographs

One ceremony proceeded smoothly until a problem emerged due to the name of the recipient not matching the name on the graduation papers. The Chancellor remained unflustered. He was congratulated later upon his calm demeanour, and explained that he knew people who could fix the problem would soon appear.

There is an opposite to being lost for words, which should not concern us here. Described by Australian slang as “ear-bashing”. Once the tap of words is turned on, it can only , with effort, be turned off.

Of more concern are situations where people are so stressed by having to address a group that they cease to function. The following descriptions will illustrate what is being dealt with.

• Gob smacked
• Cat got your tongue
• Dumbstruck
• Thunder struck
• Nonplussed
• Speechless
• Took the wind out of my sails
• Froze in my shoes
• Flabbergasted
• Left field
• Taken completely by surprise
• Overwhelmed
• Breath-taking
• Blind-sided

The example above of the Chancellor should indicate that being lost for words has a positive side. Being gobsmacked for example might refer to being stunned by something of rare beauty. Being lost for words might provide breathing space while considering a response.

Causes may be:

• English is a second language
• Limited vocabulary
• Low self-esteem
• Feeling overwhelmed
• Attack on personal integrity
• Dealing with difficult person or situation
• Don’t know what to say
• No plan for response

Being lost for words may not present as a serious issue for everyone, but the following suggestions may be helpful.

• Become a joiner of clubs and friendship groups
• Browse short course options eg U3A
• Join a library and read extensively
• Study linguistics
• Join a debating club
• Learn a second language
• Arrange for conversation practice
• Build vocabulary through word games eg scrabble, crosswords
• Use a dictionary
• Practice speed reading
• Practice precis
• Take notes of talks
• Become familiar with elocution and voice projection
• Develop writing skills
• Understand grammar and use of punctuation
• Practice dictation and transcription
• Read to children
• Try writing poems
• Have someone check your work
• Write letters to the editor of daily press

Language skills are powerful, yet even today illiteracy is more prevalent than we might think. But with diligence and application, any body can become a wordmaster.

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – JANUARY 2025 – FALLS

On December 12 last year an article appeared in the sports pages of The Age headed ‘I’m going to fight’:  Dawn recovering from near -death fall. “The subject of the article is Olympian Dawn Fraser.

There is something of a tendency to regard falls as a normal part of aging, so they do not always receive the attention they should. Yet everyone over the age of 70 should give them close attention. Most of us can identify the main causes of death in Australia:   heart attacks, cancer, strokes, dementia. But there is another – falls.

Dawn Fraser’s mishap provides just a small insight into some of the issues surrounding falls. The first is her age, the next who she is. Once the age of 70 is reached falls are a possibility, regardless of fitness and circumstances generally. Furthermore, at their worst they can prove fatal. In Fraser’s case this was a likely outcome as surgeons expressed concern she might not survive surgery.

When advised of concerns about her survival, Fraser said she was going to fight. This highlights the importance of mental strength and a positive outlook

Another piece of information is that she was alone when the incident occurred. She never carries a ‘phone but this time, when she tripped she had the ‘phone and was able to use it to call for help.

In discussing this article, a friend described people given to falls (not disrespectfully)  as members, however unwilling, of the Frequent flyers club.

An unfortunate aspect of falls is the suddenness with which they occur. One of my friends was OK one minute and his next recollection is waking in hospital.

I should declare I have no medical training and my comments are based upon what is called lived experience, of myself and friends. One surprising aspect is the speed with which momentum gathers during a fall. The net result being similar to being hit by a train or bus. The outcomes may be fatal, or facial injuries, or fractures. One thing I was told – don’t put your hands out to prevent a fall. If you do, a broken wrist may result. It is just possible a fall causes no harm, but the impact may result in concussion – not always easy to detect.

What causes falls?

• Seizures
• Fluctuations in blood pressure
• Tiredness
• Dehydration
• Vertigo
• Side effects of medication
• Uneven floor surfaces
• Stubbornness
• Misplaced need to be independent
• Diet
• Undetected medical condition
• Poor health
• Aging
• Over assessment of capabilities
• Loss of concentration
• Slippery floor surfaces
• Inaccessible or insufficient call buttons
• Reluctance to attend hospital

STEPS TO TAKE

A sensible place to commence seeking care information is My Aged Care. A care assessment is mandatory if admission to an aged care facility is required. It also establishes a benchmark for eligibility for forms of home based care and nine weeks of respite care p.a. Important factors to consider are whether you are living alone and the impact your care situation has upon a partner or friends and family members. A personal care alarm is strongly recommended.

For those who have experienced falls, a home assessment by an occupational therapist will almost certainly produce suggestions to improve safety at home. In my experience the high danger  area is between bedroom and bathroom. Grab rails are a good investment.

Unfortunately, once falls have commenced, they keep occurring, but recollection of them becomes fuzzy. It may be useful to compile a diary entry for each, including any witness observations. This may inform any steps to help prevention that you take.

My father once said that a consequence of aging is that you get to know your doctor very well. A doctor effectively acts as a case manager. If he or she meets with you every 4-6 weeks, changes can be detected and medication monitored’

There may be some diet issues that require attention such as allergies, sugar and salt intake, and having a balanced food intake. Any weight issues might be addressed. A meeting with a dietitian may be helpful. Individuals can be quite unaware about which foods are beneficial or not good for them.

Most pundits seem agreed that regular exercise will maintain quality of life even if the range that can be managed is limited.

Social interaction keeps the mind alert as well as keeping you informed.

PERSONAL EXPERIENCES

I have found that dealing with falls is aided by sharing experiences with others. Preventing falls is a managing process of dealing with risk and using common sense. Be aware of the potential side effects of medication. One of these led to my most serious fall. This medication worked for many, but not for a few.

Tiredness increases risk, as does extended conversations Sleep is helpful. Staying hydrated is essential.

Given the unpredictability of falls, behaviour may be need to considered eg driving a car, proximity to  fires and barbecues, stoves, moving equipment, heights, equipment, seat transfers etc. And if feeling not quite right, stop what you are doing and sit or lie down.

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – DECEMBER 2024 – BE HAPPY

I am responding to a suggestion that December would be an appropriate time to produce something cheery. Any one I meet over the next few weeks can expect to be asked to identify a time when they felt happy.

The first response identified the sea. No specific place, just the sea. This prompts  recollections of Queensland , WA and elsewhere – Agnes Water, Sunshine and Gold Coasts, Pambula, Esperance, Albany, City Beach, Coral Bay, Broome, Montgomery Reef, Rosebud, Inverloch, Lorne, Cape Bridge Water, and many more.

It also leads to memories of sunbathing, fishing, beach cricket, body surfing, suntan oil, Beach Girl contests, life savers, beach walks, campers, peering in rock pools, barefeet, post-swim showers, fish and chips and pies, and turbulence.

The next nomination was pets. Pet rocks may be taking things too far. But then again rocks of value such as gold, opal, diamonds, or gemstones could lead to happiness. Some people find happiness with snakes, even rats, ferrets, and mice. But then who is our best friend? Dogs are favourite companions and their many breeds point to great varieties in personality types. Dogs provide affection, loyalty, silliness, exercise, and protection.

Horses are very popular and not just the racing variety. Horses provide employment, as well as enjoyment and riding provides its own sense of pleasure. Other animal pets might include cattle, sheep, goats, rabbits, pigs,  etc.

Birds can be another pet offering joy and happiness. Tamed birds such as pigeons, domestic fowls, canaries, budgerigars, finches, parrots have over time had their admirers. One thing you notice when travelling overseas is a lack of birds. Some birds have nuisance qualities, such as over friendly emus, swans, and ducks. But even the wild birds around us can be a source of happiness. Birds such as crows, magpies, mudlarks, cockatoos, wattle birds, kookaburras, doves, willy wag tails, wrens, and the elusive lyre bird. Birds that have voice are appealing. Just listening to birds and watching them is refreshing. And who could forget the impact of a wedge tailed eagle viewed in the wild at close range.

Then food and happiness seem to go together in the experience of most people. What has been said of an army? That it marches on its stomach! Stories of the outback, of drovers, of shearing gangs, claim the most important person in the team is the camp cook. Cruise ships know that passengers expect to be well fed. And in aged care facilities, management will hear quickly if meals do not reach expectations.

Australians have moved well away from the meat and two veg approach to meals, and from beer as the only acceptable beverage. Who remembers now Barossa Pearl? Successive waves of migrants have brought with them different forms of catering which have spread into the broader community. And the barbie retains its popularity.

Sport is another source of happiness. This might come from selection in a team, a successful lead up to a goal involving many players, implementation of a strategy, support from spectators, decking out in a team’s livery, pleasing the coach, involvement in a winning streak, winning a premiership, surpassing a personal best. And sport is emotional. Why should it matter if our team wins or loses, even after all these years?

Then there is music, probably as old as the human race itself. Music can be song, solo or barbers shop quartet, duets, and massed choirs. It can be hymns, country and western, blues, jazz and many other formats, such as brass bands. And who does not emerge from a musical having been moved in some way? Musicals such as South Pacific, Anni Get Your Gun, Kismet, Les Mis, and My Fair Lady? And what about a massed choir singing Handel’s Messiah? Music is the stuff of which happiness is made!

As we know, fashions change. Some fifty years or so ago, tattoos would by and large have been looked down upon, as raising questions about social acceptability. But tattoos are on the march and many folk now have them. Their proliferation suggests they have become an important part of self image. As such, we can assume that most people with tattoos are happy with the end result.

But tattoos are not the only form of fashion statement. There is body piercing and the type of expenditure associated with Fashions in the Field and like events. Expenditure on apparel and accessories is considerable. Although money can’t buy happiness, the end result of expenditure on fashion surely produces happiness, for a time, however fleeting!

Some time ago, I spent a few days each year with a small group visiting rural schools to provide information about post-secondary programs. On one occasion, one of my companions was a dean of engineering. At one school we got to speak to year 11 and 12 students in the last period of the day. We quickly established that none of the students would be able to study mathematics at a level that would equip them to study engineering. “Anyway” said a female year 11 student “What’s so wonderful about engineering?” If he was taken aback by this challenge, he did not show it, and replied “The joy of the finished task” and then departed from script to give a really interesting talk about his first job, as a glaciologist.

I have no idea how many of us derive happiness from the completed task, but it surely would be a considerable number. Getting things done provides a sense of satisfaction, happiness, and purpose. Better to be doing things rather than drifting along in aimless fashion.

Family is an ongoing source of happiness, especially if it is based upon loving and being loved. Commencing with courtship, marriage, children and grandchildren, and riding out the challenges life presents. With it comes the many things you do together that make you happy – anniversaries, family get togethers, trips, and so on.

Perhaps we should reflect upon happiness more than we do for there is so much there to enjoy!

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – NOVEMBER 2024 – FAITH

My first three years in the workforce were spent as an accounting trainee. In casting around for a more meaningful role I had an intense spiritual experience which seemed to point in the direction of ordained ministry. But in those times it was not unusual to refer to some occupations such as nursing, teaching, or social work as a calling

My mentor warned me that the years leading to ordination would present many challenges. After four years pursuing this direction I ran out of steam. One result was what turned out, with the benefit of hindsight, an exit interview with a senior cleric who advised me I lacked faith. I did not agree with his conclusion then, or now, but his assessment has niggled at me ever since.

Not that long ago we went on a cruise to the Marchesa Islands, departing from Tahiti. In the briefing before visiting the last island we were advised of a treat in store, embarking and disembarking the way it was in the past. Now disembarking from a ship into a lifeboat moving up and down on 10 feet waves is not exactly child’s play. One mis-step can result in a waist high soaking.

Returning to the ship is even more exciting with the crew struggling to hold the lifeboat straight while you hop in. Returning to the ship means stepping off when the wave is at its peak on to a small platform, to be grabbed by willing hands. This exercise concentrates the mind powerfully. What does this tell us about faith?

Trust is important and having it can lead to a sound outcome. Can faith move mountains? Well it certainly helps to boost confidence in achieving at a higher level.

But motivators, or faith, can vary in intensity, and it is the flat spots that can be very challenging, even deflating.

Recently I had a conversation with someone who herself had the experience of sitting with someone over the last few hours of her life. She said the dying person “would not let go”. Not wanting to let go is often an inhibitor of faith, which can be a step from the known to the unknown requiring complete trust.

Services of worship in which the worship leader reflects upon his or her journey can be inspiring. It has been said of a career in times gone by that it was like being on a train, heading on straight and unswerving line into the distance. But more recent descriptions of a career are that it resembles a river, twisting and turning as it wends its way. Much the same might be said of a faith journey. The senior cleric mentioned above was on a railway, I was more like the river.

Jesus said of a person he had recently healed that his faith had made him whole. But wholeness in a healing context is not merely physical. The whole person has physical dimensions, but also emotional, mental, spiritual, moral/ethical, and aspirational as well.

Implicit in faith is allegiance and a loyalty that is two-way.

Sometimes the statement faith is blind is made. A bit like the imaginary army platoon so obedient that it marches over a cliff in the absence of ant countervailing command. Our faith is forged into shape through worship – reflection, music, creeds and shared experience. It also permits contrary views. Additonally it invites a response: Love one another as I have loved you; forth in your name I go; volunteering; advocacy; caring, property maintenance, fund raising

Faith demands action and responses if it is to have any significance at all. It has a place in the secular world, and Christians do refer to other religions as other faiths. In the Christian world it is inevitably linked to the Holy Trinity. And as one hymn puts it “Trust and obey, for there’s no other way.” But the question of who initiates a faith relationship? God or us. For it does seem that God has periodically gone cold on the relationship, eg during the protracted period of the exile. As individuals, we can experience frustration when God appears to be elusive.

One example might help. When I first met some First Nations people. I found that if you wanted to contact them in a meaningful way, a protracted silence was mandatory. Faith, and contact with God may well  provide a commitment to silence. Some one once said that if God has gone quiet on you. It may be that you have not been listening hard enough, for the past may return more riches than you know.

Faith offers hope, requires loyalty and that we should not yield to fear. Here a quick read of Susan Jeffers best selling “Feel the fear and do it any way” may prove instructive.

So I have come to the view that the senior cleric’s view of faith was that of the railway line, straight, true, and not deviating. He would not be alone in this. My journey has been like the river with fluctuating water levels, dead ends and snags, but still pointing to a distant end.

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – OCTOBER 2024 – AUSTRALIA HO – Diary of an 1830’s English migrant

WEATHER/SAILING

A beautiful day. The climate  becomes warmer every day. The mild breeze with the novel and grand appearance of the sea has quite revived me.

Now somewhere off the coast of Spain the weather is very fine and the wind favourable. The ocean at night is phosphorescent and has a beautiful appearance.

Now after a month at sea the weather is intolerably warm. I never felt warm before. Frequently when I get up in the morning I put on literally nothing more than a shift frock and shoes. It is impossible to describe the beautiful appearance the sky has in a tropical climate when the sun sets, the colours reflected are splendid indeed, I have never seen anything like it.

Now we have crossed the line the warm weather has passed and it is now getting rather cold. We have now about a week’s good run to get to the Cape of Good Hope.

Since crossing the line the warm weather has disappeared and we have a week’s good run to reach the Cape of Good Hope. The last few days and nights have been very boisterous.  The ship rolls tremendously although they say it is a very easy vessel.

The ship is heavily laden and sails very slowly. We have now been at sea 3 months but do not expect to reach Sydney in less than 8 weeks.

The weather has been dreadfully boisterous. The sea has run mountains high washing the decks fore and aft as high as the men’s waists. Our berth is the driest on the ship, though we have had the water in a little, but have succeeded in stopping the places through which it has come. Every other berth on the ship has been completely soused.

The weather has been so bad I have been unable to write. Those who have not experienced it cannot form any idea of the misery of being tossed about in a gale of wind. The sea has run so high that we had great cause to fear the decks would have been swept clear by the water. As it was the bulwarks were away on each side. Our berth is damp and there are a great many leaks. It is the best in the ship, her topsides are very old.

We have made some alterations, additions, and improvements in our berth and have the satisfaction to find all things answer the purpose. The table has been placed in the corner with a ledge around it to prevent things from rolling off. Several shelves have been fixed up in different parts to put cups and other useful things on.

There is a very heavy sea and she rolls dreadfully. Several times during the night she was so long in recovering herself I thought she must be on her beam ends.

Outside the heads at Sydney a sudden storm appeared. I stayed on deck and beheld the most awful sight I ever saw in my life. We were in more danger than at any time on the passage. The vessel heeled over in a frightful manner, the lee side was under water, the rigging hung loose and swayed backwards and forwards by the mast bending so much that it was expected every minute the topmasts would be blown away. However it did not happen but the sails gave way from the yards and were slit and torn

GOODS AND CHATTELS

Saucepans (different sizes), iron kettle ( holds 3 quarts), complete set of common tea service, 6 small tumblers, 6 silver teaspoons, a cookery book, a hair comb with deep teeth, s small tooth comb, a flour tub, a linen bag, 3 tins, 3 dishes, 2 Pewter tablespoons, 5 cops and saucers, 12 plates.

In gift box from mother-in-law:

One or two of baby linen – everything that would be required, some fine diaper for pinafores, besides  two whole pieces not so fine, 12 yards of flannel, very fine lawn and cambric, muslins of different kinds, , calico, one worked cambric cap, 3 dozen yards of real lace and edging and indeed everything that would be needed, even to a cushion, powder and a powder puff.

MEALS AND FOOD

The meals have been a great trouble to us. Finding great discomfort we  have made an agreement with the steward to prepare, cook, and clear away our meals during the voyage for five pounds. I now feel much more comfortable and  free.

Two sharks have been caught which I have partaken of. it is very tolerable.

I much enjoy one present. The preserves make excellent tarts and I assure you one now and then is a great treat. The ginger bread we also much enjoy. I have a little left yet. The puddings got so mouldy that the greater part was wasted.

One week from Sydney we are to have a treat. The last of stock in meat has been cooked and we shall enjoy a Damson pie.

There has been a great  quantity of fish caught today called Snoods, something of a species of mackerel, but much larger. We had part of one boiled for dinner with sauce of flour and melted butter. What I long for most is a basin of bread and milk. I have taken a dislike to tea.   Coffee and chocolate I can drink. Mutton hams keep sweet and are extremely nice.

Everyone who comes to sea and who is fond of pies and tarts should lay in supplies of relishes and preserved fruit. A filter should not be forgotten. We have had beautiful water all the way. For others it has at times been filthy

What I long for most is a basin of bread and milk. I have taken a dislike to tea.   Coffee and chocolate I can drink. Mutton hams keep sweet and are extremely nice. Everyone who comes to sea and who is fond of pies and tarts should lay in supplies of relishes and preserved fruit. A filter should not be forgotten. We have had beautiful water all the way. For others it has at times been filthy

PASSENGERS AND CREW

The cabin passenger is a pleasant young man with letters of introduction to the Governor. In the prospect of obtaining a situation.

The steerage passengers, a married couple, do little but quarrel. She is not a very desirable person.

The other passenger is a bouncing, boastful young man, by trade an ornamental painter. He is trying to ingratiate himself into the Captain’s good graces in order to be reported at Sydney as a cabin passenger although  he  cannot afford to pay as such. From what we have heard he has lost his character and otherwise misbehaved himself in his native country. From what we have heard his friends have fitted him out to get rid of him with 50 pounds.

In a voyage of such length it would be impossible not to see into the characters of the persons we are obliged to mix with. I can assure you I have seen very much to surprise me and to put me on my guard in future intercourse with the world. The ship’s officers are a couple of honest men.

There are 2 or 3 very nice boys on board, but the crew, with several exceptions, are rogues. We have lost several things which have been taken by them.

PIRATES

Just passed 4 o’clock a vessel came in sight on our head. The captain went up the foremast to reconnoitre. and pronounced her a barque. We still kept watching her till it was dark. The captain and crew began to express a little uneasiness which was much increased when she came nearer and hoisted a light. You may guess our alarm when about 7:30 the captain ordered the big guns to be loaded, which was done, and by 9 o’clock, pistols and cutlasses were in readiness. A blue light was then let off, no answer was returned. The vessel was now right astern. A second light was shown, still no answer. She was by this time almost within speaking distance.

The men were now called aft to the quarterdeck. The captain addressed them from the poop. He asked if they were one and ready to fight. At first there was some demur with two or three of them, but they were soon brought to a sense of their duty. The guns were manned and every man on board, passengers and crew, amounting to 24 stood on board with cutlasses in hand, ready for action.

I can assure you it was an awful moment what the next hour or two might bring. Would we be murdered by a set of lawless wretches or find a grave in the deep sea? I prayed to God to be merciful and receive our souls if such were to be our fate and much wished that long ago our peace had been made.

The vessel was now close. The captain hailed her and may guess our relief when a friendly answer was received from an English vessel who had met a heavy gale and lost her main top mast and fore top mast. Our captain rendered what assistance he could. This happened 3 degrees north of the line.

TRAVEL

Altogether ours is a very comfortable berth. I like it as well as I would like the cabin for many reasons for we have it always to ourselves. By shutting the door we have light enough to read and work by.

Today I walked on the poop for an hour for the benefit of my health. I recovered my looks in the warm weather but the voyage is too long to agree with me and I now look as bad as ever. I have turned my hair up behind and you know that does not add to my appearance.

Plenty of wind today and we are moving fast towards our destination. They expect to make the islands of Amsterdam and St Pauls on Monday when we shall be half-way between The Cape of Good Hope and Sydney.

A foul wind which will oblige us to go round Van Dieman’s Land instead of through Bass Straight and we shall be a week later in reaching Sydney.

The land is more distinct today, a high woody country. The trees must be gigantic and we can distinguish their tops from a distance of about 15 miles We can see the beach and smoke of fires used by Indians for cooking.

We are now in the Straits. This is the dangerous part of the passage. Somewhere near there is a reef of rocks on which a ship with convicts was wrecked and 300 persons perished.

We have passed Wilson’s Promontory and numerous small islands.. One rocky island is called Devil’s Towers.

It is 5 months today since we left London. Cape Howe is in sight, 2 days from Sydney

SYDNEY

Thanks to the Almighty we are here and well!

Sydney is a pretty enough place, but after all it is not England, and therefore I do not like it as well. The houses are built in a very pretty style mostly with verandahs. The lower orders of the people are much given to drink. They earn enough in the first three days to keep them all the week, and the remaining four days they spend in dissipation. The gentry are excellently proud. The tradespeople are mostly convicts, and those who are not are so shy of mixing for fear they should fall into the society of convicts, that there is no society at all, so everyone lives almost entirely to themselves. There are a great many of public buildings. The church is built of brick and inside it little resembles Isleworth Church. A great part of the service is chanted. There are chapels for all persuasions of people, but there is not much religion here although it is outwardly respected.

There is a beautiful hospital and a fine market house, such a one as you seldom see in England.

FIRST NATIONS

The native blacks are the ugliest race of people I ever saw. I can give no clear description of them, yet they look what you might conceive would be of the infernal regions. Many of them come into the town with no other covering than a blanket thrown round their bodies. There are hundreds of them to be seen in a state of nature, that is to say naked as they were born up in the Bush. A few years ago they came to Sydney quite naked but now this is not allowed.

Edited by Lionel Parrott from a diary of a distant relative copied by hand by my mother.  Described is a journey of nearly 200 years ago.

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – SEPTEMBER  2024 – TO HOLD OR TO FOLD?

Occasionally I am asked where the ideas underpinning my articles come from. Now and then inspiration comes from a reader. In this instance I was forwarded an article dealing with leaving or staying in a role and a suggestion I might write about this.

A good starting point here is to recognise that what we expect from work changes over time. And while some of us are relatively certain about  career intentions from an early age, others may be searching for a career destination for years, or may be forced to reconsider due to redundancy quite late in life. My former colleague at the University of Melbourne Len Currie somewhat wrily described a career as a race  between redundancy and retirement.

But we  can accept that decisions about holding or folding have to be made against a backdrop that is ever changing.  Reasons for folding are many and varied and often start with one thing, to which more can be quickly added. With young people a prime motivator is to travel and see the world. Career aspirations are placed on hold. Employers can be quite attracted to young people who appear to have got the travel bug out of their system. And it has been said of travel that it broadens the mind.

But you do need to know what you might be turning your back on.

Is money every thing?  Many individuals decline offers of significant salary packages to move. Reasons for doing so might be loyalty, job satisfaction, friendship groups, liking what you do

Being informed that your services are no longer required can be devastating, and in many cases the effect can last for years after the event. Much of our identity and sense of worth comes from our employment. Retrenchment commonly falls into two types, involuntary, and voluntary. In the former instance you are being folded.

Most retrenched people assume they will obtain a new job quickly. Allow at least six months. Do not take an extended holiday for it may last even longer. And watching your funds diminish with little or nothing coming in is stressful. And use all the help you can get, you will need it. First steps should be a meeting with a financial adviser, followed by outplacement and possibly a counsellor if you are not travelling too well. Consider if you should continue in the same occupation or make a career change. Do you need to undertake some further study?

Voluntary Departure Packages (VDP’s) raise more issues. Early waves of VDP’s often include more generous terms to secure the number of departures required. How much of yourself have you invested in your role? My father always said of the time to fold that an ideal time to fold is leave them wanting more! Who of your colleagues and clients will you miss?.A financial adviser can help with the financial implications and tax advantages. Much may depend on your age and the number of years to retirement. A visit to the doctor should help with any potential health issues.

Should you apply for a VDP and be unsuccessful, are there any career implications? Those continuing with an organisation will feel some of the VDP folk have been rewarded more generously than those continuing on. Morale may change for the worse. And work will get no easier for an organisation shedding staff will encounter tough times ahead. But there may be opportunities ahead and loyalty may be rewarded.

Other factors that may be relevant are that you really enjoy your job and things that come with it. That you are good at it and feel that you are achieving something worth while. You have felt appreciated and job satisfaction is high.

When it comes to folding, poor managers rank high, with behaviours described as micro managing, lack of trust, autocratic, quick to criticise, threatened by bright subordinates, not sharing information and not delegating. Because managers close ranks, getting  a meaningful and equitable hearing is difficult. On the other hand, a competent manager provides opportunities for his or her staff.

Security can be another factor and a sense of insecurity can be a hint to fold.

Some organisations relocate and offer transfers to the new location, well aware that most employees will not take these offers up.

Having to travel long distances can be wearing and time consuming although being able  work from home makes a difference. But in recent years having the right work/life balance has really mattered.

If you seem to be lacking progress in your organisation, that personal and professional development is lacking, that work is tedious and unrewarding, and that your skills are diminishing, perhaps it is time to move on.

For a well educated workforce job satisfaction is important and so is having values that align with those of your employer.

If you are considered to be a top performer, it is possible an offer you cannot refuse may com via an executive search consultant.

A decision to hold or fold is difficult and motivators vary – we are all different. It is helpful to rank factors that matter to you and co0mpare these with the options available to you. These might include:

• Job Satisfaction
• Rewards and remuneration
• Employer reputation
• Personal and professional development
• Alignment of values
• Family circumstances
• Health
• Working from home
• Security
• Scope
• Time spent travelling to and from
• Future prospects

Important decisions demand seeking appropriate professional advice and making sure all options are considered. And a review date should be set in order to evaluate progress.

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – AUGUST 2024 – FORGIVENESS

With 160/170,000 convicts as the base of European settlement in Australia, and men and women subject to generously administered floggings as a form of social control, the early years of this new colony were hardly likely to be marked by forgiveness.

Although the practice of flogging reduced after the early part of the 19^th century, one of the most vigorous users of floggings was an Anglican minister, Rev Marsden. His claim to fame was to be known as the flogging parson.

Some convicts became successful members of their new community, but until relatively recent times, families took every effort they could to ensure every trace of the convict stain was hidden from view.

But wheels slowly turn, and many families, descendants of early fleeters and of convicts, wear their inheritance as almost a mark of distinction.

But I wonder if prisoners of today feel forgiven upon their discharge? A small number may if they were able to take part in a restorative justice program. But most will enter a strange world with little money and needing accommodation, transport, employment, and sustenance – not an attractive outlook!

When it comes to determining a sentence for a crime, jurors and justices are reportedly uncomfortable. Early steps to redemption, such as expressions of regret, sorrow, repentance,, contrition, remorse, co-operation, may all be taken into account in determining the length of a sentence.

Part of the attraction of Christianity is the assurance of forgiveness, the promise of having the slate wiped clean, at least in terms of a relationship with God. And this cleaning the slate is a continuous rather than a one-off process.

But I continue to struggle with the lyrics of a Charles Wesley hymn “O for a thousand tongues to sing” in which he refers to “the power of cancelled sin”. Surely the action of seeking forgiveness is to nullify the power of sin as committed in disdainful acts? Or perhaps Wesley  was smarter than we thought. Perhaps he recognised conditions such as PTSD and the life-long impact of horrific situations upon military personnel and first responders. Dealing with impactful memories can at best be managed, never completely erased. And governments funding treatment of mental health appear to treat mental health conditions as being fixable by one off cures rather than as episodic and recurring. Often, a forgiveness need cannot take effect until we forgive ourselves!

Forgiveness comes into play at one level, as a means of repairing damaged relationships. Regrettably, damaged relationships can go back years as world events continue to show. But in less severe situations, such as a duffed tennis shot, saying sorry is akin to an expression of politeness. Then there is that saying about what stays on the field!

A selection process involving a selection committee and an internal applicant had to deal with a committee member who shared with his colleagues a mistake the applicant had made some years previously in his first few weeks of employment. This committee member needed to be more forgiving. The committee chair and other members may have pointed this out!

But being forgiving does not always come easy as a list of aspects of it may indicate. Terms such as:

Contrition, remorse, being sorry, apologetic, having a clean slate, expiation, penance, closure, admission, reconciliation, repentance.

Being forgiving is not easy. It may even call for admission that you got something wrong. It almost certainly calls for being honest with yourself. What may be required, apart from public admission, is some gesture to mark the occasion. Gestures such as lighting a candle, undertaking voluntary work, planting a tree, raising funds, a physical project, advocacy and so on.

Formal confession on a one-to-one basis has not been part of life for the protestant faith. Here the practice has been group confession. But I can’t help wondering if group confession go deep enough, or whether it simply skims over the top? Or whether it applies to some of those gathered around me, but not to me?

A one to one confession is liberating in the sense that what is revealed to God is covered by the seal of confession. In any event in trying to hide things is pointless, for God knows everything, our very innermost selves.

History shows that enmities of long standing can be resolved, if the parties concerned approach each other with a spirit of forgiveness. You can’t help wondering if relationships with First Nations People might be moved forward if all parties approached one another from a spirit of forgiveness!

Let us not forget that even while he was being crucified Jesus called on the Father to forgive them.

And if forgiveness is something we seek, in receiving forgiveness we should be prepared to offer it in equal measure.

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – JULY 2024 – HISTORY

My recollections of history at primary school were that it required a good memory, particularly for dates. It seemed to focus upon explorers, British history, and military events of note. No one told us that history is usually written by the winners. Nor was there any suggestion other important histories were unwritten. The decline in First Nations populations was attributed to low resistance to European diseases.

But history took a different turn in years eleven and twelve, the choices being Australian, modern, or Greek and Roman. Suddenly, topics took a broader approach, examining more than one side of situations. Interestingly, students at year 12, aspiring to study law, flocked to Legal Studies. But one of my friends, a lecturer in law, told me the best predictor of success in a law degree was Australian History,

Being under no pressure to opt for job ready studies, a nonsensical concept loved by politicians, and having explored an accounting career for three years, I headed for what appeared interesting, new, and offering scope to acquire an education.

Presented with following my interests made for choices in History, Philosophy, and English. And in history, there was opportunity to study in areas that were new. These turned out to be Ancient History, American History, and Far Eastern History.

Ancient History, the first half of the course was pre-history, basically history from  the period covering the pre-written period. Here  was presented discovery of the oldest skulls by Leakey (s) in Olduvai Gorge (Africa). Coins became significant in early Greece and Rome. Diaries of early Egyptologists revealed that wood from coffins gave breakfast toast a nasty musty flavour. Then along came Mortimer Wheeler with his grid system for recording the exact location at which significant items were found.

At the commencement of our studies was a talk on presentation of essays. How to use footnotes, attribute quoted sources, the significance of primary sources, constructing bibliographies, and the scourge of plagiarism. Lecturer John Mulvaney was advised by well – meaning colleagues that archaeology in Australia was a waste of time – there was nothing to see!

One item of interest to me was that where a comparison could be made between early secular records and the Old Testament, the historical accuracy of the latter stands up very well.

During my time at university, most subjects required submission of 1500 to 2000 word essays at the end of terms one and two. Having to do these for three subjects required lively  time management and hours of reference work, not to mention late nights, for academics were unlikely to grant due date extensions. These essays were works of substance. I completed one on Roman religion, the Opium Wars, and American railroads.

Some students, accustomed to being in the brightest group at their school, found the cut and thrust if tutorials, as they were then, quite challenging. They helped sharpen skills in discussion and debate.

Pre-history was like a detective story with clues coming from ancient burial sites, skeletons and bone fragments, tools, weaponry, clothing scraps, art, pottery, coins, shipwrecks, ashes and food scraps. Processed by dating techniques, clues make possible a picture of life in ancient times..

The graduate in arts/humanities is exposed to the thinking of the greatest minds the world has produced. What could be wrong with that?

Unhappily, whenever universities are faced with a need to reduce costs, faculties of arts and humanities are first in the firing line, and Deans of these faculties seem unable to deal with attacks on their revenue, nor have they developed compelling arguments in their own defence. Even the best of universities can only point to history as helping to understand the past so that we can better understand the present and hopefully shape the future.

But graduate destinations statistics do not point to unusually high figures for unemployed arts/humanities graduates. Because their studies are not obviously vocational, the most common destination after graduating is likely to be a further shorter course directly linked to a vocation. Studies leading to teaching, Law, social work, computing, librarianship, sales/marketing, nursing, aged care for example.

In this modern age where we are faced with an ever increasing deluge of information, students of History come into their own, with their capacity for sourcing information, evaluating it, assessing and storing it for future reference. Here we should remember their concentration on primary sources. A further useful filter  is application of contrary evidence. In coming to a balanced position, it is essential to check whether your impressions have been subject to a halo effect.

Training in History is also invaluable in filtering “spin” and “junk mail”. There is no shortage of these and other forms of propaganda. Philosophy comes in handy in application of logic to test the strength of proposals.

Generalist graduates have an excellent ability for looking at problems with fresh eyes, for scoping them, knowing where to look for possible solutions, solving the problem and implementing solutions.

Employers targeting students “dropping out” have commented how quick they are to acquire knowledge. Arts/humanities graduates have this quality of picking up things quickly, and are also flexible.

Others assume that the arts graduate is a helpful source of advice when drafting reports or correspondence although English studied at university is some way removed from English used within organisations.

And there is good news. Commissioned histories to produce biographies and histories of corporations, events, clubs, education/schools appear to be increasing. I even recall one request for a history graduate to advise film makers on background authenticity of clothing, meals and furniture, etc

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – JUNE 2024 – SUGGESTION SCHEMES

Organisations that take themselves seriously will have in place constant scrutiny of their activities to ensure they are as close to best practice as they can be. The era of international competitiveness and continuous improvement ensures being mired in the past is a sure path to irrelevance or liquidation.

Large organisations will have specialist groups focussing upon operational efficiency. For major projects they might engage management consultants. And there will be an expectation of senior managers that they are ever vigilant in finding new ways to streamline what they do.

A senior executive once informed me that efficiency gains are more likely to come from small incremental progress than from a giant leap forward. Treatment of whistleblowers suggests that public airing of shortcomings is not exactly always well received. Let’s face it, a certain amount of courage is required to throw yourself open to public scrutiny. But if you are not open to informed feedback, how else can you improve? Then there is the saying “Feedback is the breakfast of champions.”

Suggestion schemes may be used as tools for obtaining constructive feedback about how an organisation is performing, or how it might improve. For the days when the measure of performance was a balance sheet are long since passed. Even then I recall a gloomy engineer, in a year when the company posted record profits stating the real question should be how much better should the result have been?

But since the arrival of performance indicators there are many ways of responding to that question “How are we going?” Such things as lost time incidents, staff retention and staff turnover, staff head counts, absenteeism, market share, customer satisfaction surveys, stock movement, project completion rates, actuals against budget, bad debts, planned and unplanned budget costs, and performance appraisals.

Many organisations have stated that “Our people are our greatest asset”. Surely it makes good sense to fully utilise the brainpower of all employees? Suggestion schemes have been around for sometime and appear to come in and out of fashion. One thing that is clear is that top management has to very publicly back the scheme if it is to be productive.

Positive results require public recognition and successes provide encouragement. I suspect the best proposals are more likely to come from groups or teams rather than individuals.

Also important is that those evaluating suggestions take their role seriously rather than treating their role as just another irksome duty.

Suggestion schemes may well have started around the time of the manufacturing assembly line. Could they have been some kind of sop to workplace democracy? One reason for being reluctant to initiate them might be because of an old saying “Don’t air your dirty linen in public!” And there is no shortage of organisations that have become so obsessed with protecting themselves from reputational damage, that ignoring obvious wrongs can do them terminal damage. A suggestion identifying something that should have been dealt with earlier should embarrass those in the management group. And it is hard to conceive suggestion schemes will thrive in an organisation experiencing redundancies.

Convincing employees that a suggestion scheme will benefit them is no easy task. Suggestions that may embarrass colleagues are often placed on the backburner. Those working in management review groups will quickly learn that suggested improvements coming from outsiders will meet with strong resistance. There will be norms governing behaviour in workplaces that are hidden .

In all honesty, how will different interest groups react to invitations to provide suggestions? For consumers or customers the answer will be straight forward, there may be a benefit for them. Identifying rewards for good customer suggestions  could be loyalty points or discounts or free samples.

But for employees the issues may not be simple. Who wants to big note themselves in the working team? Will any recognition or reward be worth the effort, or will there be repercussions? Employees do grumble about bosses being given a performance bonus as a result of their efforts.

But in certain areas, employees are motivated to offer suggestions, such as workplace safety. Injuries and deaths in the workplace are still too high!

Suggestion schemes for one class of organisation appear particularly relevant. This group is known as member or membership based organisations. There are many of these such as roadside assist organisations, sporting clubs, health benefits groups, community service and welfare groups, sporting stadia and so on. In return for a membership subscription, these organisations provide benefits. Both members and providers watch the benefits on offer from like groups very carefully.

One way of considering churches is to place them in the membership based group although churches are never keen on likening themselves to other organisations. Admittedly there is no stipulated membership fee, although some groups are keen on tithing. But membership need not cost anything, and membership does carry with it some benefits.

Have you ever wondered what suggestions members might come up with if they were encouraged to offer suggestions to a church sponsored suggestion scheme? What is going on in the minds of those people still sitting in the pews? Does the church ever encourage its members to come up with ideas? Or is it, as some would have it a cosy social group meeting with like-minded people, one a week?

If we don’t ask, we  will never know. One person once described a bureaucracy as grinding mighty fine, and mighty slow!

IN SUMMARY

• Put in place policy and procedure guidelines and a budget
• Have an official launch
• Have senior managers stress importance publicly and often
• Provide frequent progress reports
• Give recognition and reward in response to suggestions
• Evaluate and benchmark against like programs

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – MAY 2024 – CHARITY

The term charity is believed to have its origin from the Latin caritas.  Charity has been described as an expression of Christian love for one’s fellows, and having evolved from Christian love. Charity has a near cousin in philanthropy, and both can be held to stem from altruism in the form of private initiatives seeking to improve the quality of life and public good.

Charity and philanthropy are often used interchangeably and may comprise providing assistance in many ways: finance, bursaries, volunteering, , publicity, advocacy, and goods in many forms. Some distinctions may be drawn, with philanthropy held by some to be more concerned with addressing root causes of social issues and adopting a strategic approach and aiming for long-term solutions. Charity more commonly is seen in immediate responses to disasters. Both may be held to be concerned with spreading the love.

Modern technology makes individuals more exposed to requests for support for worthy causes, of which there are many. And it would not be surprising to discover that the number of individuals whose function it is to raise money or to administer philanthropic trusts is increasing.

Periodically, media reports suggest instances of organisations in receipt of donations where administration costs are so high that a mere trickle of support reaches the needy. This does not sit well with prospective donors.

Some organisations seeking donations now refuse one off donations, preferring instead to have individuals agree to a long- term commitment to make regular periodic contributions. It makes budgeting easier if there is some certainty about what will be received, but you do wonder about those refusing gift horses!

Australians have been inclined to think of philanthropic generosity as exceptional in America, where there are large and well-known philanthropic trusts. But Americans are quick to point out that philanthropic generosity requires education and much hard work. Australians, judging by their responses to telethons, can hardly be described as niggardly in supporting worthy causes. The recent arrival of crowd funding has resulted in spectacular and speedy support in responding to urgent needs.

The approach is not new, but fund raisers in certain areas, such as education, have seen great possibilities in attracting bequests. Part of the strategy here is to make a fuss over those who have made a bequest in their will, the theory being it is best to show appreciation while the donor is alive. Naming something after a bequestor is hardly likely to cost a great deal.

A  large and well known business corporation was influenced, in making donations on what it termed the trickle down impact. By this it meant who else would benefit, apart from the direct recipient, from the donation.

One company made a habit of making donations to service groups in the surrounding community. One service organisation made such a fuss about missing out on a donation that the company decided this was all too hard and ceased making donations.

When making donations, companies do not want to share equal billing with direct competitors. Corporate donors do appreciate some form of public recognition.

Donations of another kind are those made to political parties. Corporations may not be idealistic but do like to keep the doors open for contact with politicians. Corporate donors will often have a bet each way and donate to several political parties.

Congregations may occasionally discover their financial position has improved. The first claim on a congregation’s revenue is the minister’s stipend, followed by a contribution to Presbytery. Then there is bound to be costs associated with property and buildings.

The main source of funds comes through pledges. There may be other income through funds raising, even interest on deposits. An uncommon source of funds may be bequests Other sources may be sale of property, but such funds are treated differently. The question is, how should windfall funds, or increasing bank balances be treated? Increasing wealth ad infinitum should not be a congregational priority! Can anyone quote a biblical text suggesting wealth accumulation should be the top priority for a church? Or is disposition of church funds more about spreading the love?

Treasurers tend to be prudent where church funds are concerned. But the big question is “How much is enough?” when determining what should be held in reserve in case the rainy day does arrive. Should reserves be sufficient to cover the budget for likely expense costs for a one or two year period, for example?

Decisions about spreading the love will also be informed by examining details of contributions to worthy causes over a given period eg the last five or ten years. This scrutiny may well produce some surprises, and should take into account non-cash contributions. An important decision is what past and current contributions should be continued? A further factor is whether support should extend beyond a year, or simply be a one-off

Other decisions will need to be made about the donations profile and characteristics eg offering large sums for a few recipients, or spreading the love as far as possible with small contributions to as many recipients as you can.

Then there is the mix of recipients. Should charity begin at home? In other words, how much support should be directed to the local community? As there is never any shortage of countries with small and struggling communities, what support can be international? But there are also Uniting and other church initiatives that would welcome additional revenue. And we should not neglect opportunities to partner with church or community based welfare groups which can assist resources go further.

Importantly, decisions about structured giving require input from the congregation. A process should be in place inviting members to nominate who should receive resource support on an annual basis

Finally any group receiving support should report back about what a donation has helped it achieve.

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – APRIL 2024 – MIND MAPS

A colleague of mine was, when preparing a presentation, much influenced by the adage “A picture is worth a thousand words.” I believe that it is true that information presented visually has more lasting impact upon members of an audience. However some effective communicators astutely use words to create a picture in the minds of listeners. Another principle can be the KISS slogan – Keep it simple ….. Thus we have catchy slogans in lead ups to elections or underpinning marketing campaigns.

But communication approaches altered when PowerPoint appeared. Prior to Power Point, the overhead projector was much used in presentations. Speakers made great use of overheads or foils. These latter became tricky to use in sequence, especially if there were many of them. And one of the problems with foils was if they were not trotted out smoothly, presenters might lose control. And listeners became irritated if the presenter was merely offering what listeners could read for themselves from the overheads.

Since the coming of Covid many churches have incorporated technology into their communication practices using PowerPoint as a platform for delivering worship and presenting information on line. This has expanded their outreach to new audiences, but has also assisted people seeking affiliation with church communities.

PowerPoint helps with visual differentiation and a sharpening of a message that is more concise and sticks to the point. It eliminates waffle.

People who are not engaged in leading worship often ask if services are frequently recycled. This is not a practice I have heard any body admit to. Worshippers can also be curious about sermon authorship. After all, the internet is rich with sermons that can easily be downloaded for use by another. I suspect there are occasions on which this happens. For some reason messages that are read from script do not always seem as convincing as those being given with little reference to notes.

A friend of mine recently asked how I managed to preach “off the cuff.” The answer is mind mapping, a tool which came into the spotlight in the 1970’s, but which was probably used much earlier.

A mind map has been likened to a spider’s web. At the centre of this web is the main topic under consideration. This centre is often presented as a large circle joined by lines to smaller circles, each capturing topics linked to the web centre. Indeed a thorough mind map may lead to the conclusion that the topic be redefined because one of the smaller circles emerges as more significant. One of the beauties of a well- constructed mind map is that it helps a systematic and orderly examination of all factors that are relevant, and connects the elements of a story line. And because it can be constructed visually, for some this will register more readily.

If you are listening to a presentation it is helpful to order the information being presented as a mind map. This assists assessing the quality and content of the presentation, and to identify gaps, or weaknesses in logic. In some instances, mind mapping has proved useful in reviewing the structure and logic of academic programs. Does the course structure have a systematic link when moving from one topic to another? In some instances this has led to significant changes to course structures.

Mind mapping has been described as visually organizing information. Once the skeleton of a mind map has taken shape, other things can come into play. For example, starting with the major circle or theme, and the smaller circles linked to the major one, brainstorming of each can come into play. Brainstorming is a short and sharp technique for identifying all the thoughts, no matter how wild or impractical, that flow from a key word. Over time, brainstorming has proved to be a good technique for producing creative and left-field solutions to challenging problems. With mind maps, it helps ensure that no significant factors have been overlooked. It is also useful in identifying relationships between various pieces of information.

Many of us have experienced having a flash of inspiration in the middle of the night. Should this burst of creativity be captured on paper? No, it seems so brilliantly obvious that the warmth of the bed wins out. The idea can be re-captured in the morning. Alas, come the morning and the brilliant idea has gone, probably for ever. But enter the post it note. Blank notes and a writing implement could be placed near the bed. The post it note can be invaluable for capturing thoughts that can be explored and evaluated at a more suitable time.

When we think of creative writing mind mapping comes into its own as providing a structure for poems, short stories, novels, legislation drafts, lyrics, policies, procedures, position descriptions, plays, and so on.

A retired teacher informed me that within primary schools mind mapping has been used for some time. Here it has proved useful for stimulating creativity in young children, enriching knowledge of  words and their relationships, and in constructing narrative in using words, all of which builds confidence and competence.

Those interested will find much information on the internet: sample formats, examples, brief explanations , relevant software, templates and so on. The trick with this visual thinking tool is practice, and in developing skill in creating a natural narrative that connects branches of related information and thoughts.

Credibility as assisted by telling a good story grounded in thorough preparation. What is finally presented may not align exactly with your rehearsal, but perhaps the adjustments can be put down to divine intervention?

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – MARCH 2024 – GRIEF

In the course of our lives, experiences may happen that impact upon us for some time later, perhaps even to our last years. These may be being at an event, such as a Billy Graham crusade or a Louis Armstrong concert, or an achievement. The birth of a child or their later progress, the fruits of a relationship or the highlights of a holiday or trip. A situation in which you have exceeded your own expectations, a Lew Hoad serve, a Ron Barassi mark or goal, or the quiet hush of a crowd watching John Coleman lead for a mark.

A memorable experience for me occurred around 1960. I was an inexperienced theology student and my congregation’s council decided it could offer me some part-time employment over the long holiday period. In the lead up  to Christmas the minister had conducted three funeral services. He would be on leave during January. Could I undertake pastoral follow up with the three families? Pastoral care was an interest of mine – of course I could.

No one in these three families was an active church attender, and none of the deaths was expected. I very quickly learnt that depictions of death in Hollywood movies and the roles  of ministers were removed from reality, even inadequate in many ways. I found myself in the presence of heartfelt grief, a deep sense of loss, and a struggle to make sense of things. On a personal level, I felt inadequate. In that era, funerals and death were very sober affairs. There was none of the emphasis now upon celebrating the life of a departed one.

In the circumstances, I found the best response was to sit silently with those grieving in their grief.. As some sage once said, “Time heals all wounds.”

Grieving, historically, has been associated with death and dying, but is now accepted in a much broader context. Grieving may be how we react to any deep sense of loss, and responses to it are many and varied.

Of particular interest is our understanding of grief interacting with dealing with change. But grief can also be detected in loss of a pet, moving from one house to another, divorce or relationship breakdown, falling short of expectations of self, job loss, retirement, job progress, and moving from the familiar to the unfamiliar.

Our understanding of grief has been broadened by the work of Elizabeth Kubler Ross, an American psychiatrist, who identified five stages of grief. They are:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

With any potential change situation there will be a small group who thrive upon opposing anything different. Their stock phrases will be comments like “This has been tried before and did not work,” or “What would you know about it,” or “ this has been a huge failure in organisation X.” Indeed it has been said that the best way to ensure passage of a new proposal should first be run past the diehard group – they will not be hard to find. Deal with their objections and you are at least half way there. Indeed not consulting fully with all parties affected can be guaranteed to strengthen opposition.

Coming to closure has been a popular catch call in dealing with change and grief. Just as a funeral may be taken as a central feature of coming to closure, moving from one way of doing things to another may be accompanied by a ceremony. With change it is important to ensure the baby has not gone out with the bathwater. Some practices we will want to retain.

Some insight into how we approach things may come from the story of  a life insurance manager who, as a joke, announced a new policy to his colleagues, wake insurance. No self respecting Australian would come to the last rites without wanting to have set aside sufficient funds for a good old fashioned wake. The next thing that happened was a flood of calls from people wanting to take out a wake insurance policy. Wakes can be very therapeutic in dealing with grief!

I heard a woman address a group on the matter of grief and closure. Her partner had died by his own hand and she felt considerable pressure from well intentioned friends urging her to come to closure so she could move on. But she believed just one phase of their relationship had concluded, but the relationship  was still there, and evolving. Now this might be considered denial, or as something healthier and constructive.

Just as a group heading to change will include a small percentage of individuals dead set against change, so it will include a small group of pro-changers, individuals who are addicted to change, for whom it gets the adrenalin flowing.  When they conclude change, they are eager for the next. These people may be called “change champions.” It should be their role to explain a change – why it is necessary, what the benefits are, what will be the steps or milestones, how people will be equipped to deal with it.

A change management program often commences with group discussion about significant change that has occurred in the lifetime of each person. It should quickly become apparent that change is part of life and that we all cope with it. The change champions should ensure that every milestone, once achieved, is celebrated, with a big celebration, when all is done.

Our understanding of the biblical story can be informed by referencing it against grief and change. There is no shortage of grief situations. The story of the woman reconstructing her relationship with her late husband may be contrasted with Christians exploring their relationship with Jesus. Ia anyone here suggesting this relationship should come to closure? Are we in a state of denial or is something else happening that is evolving and changing? Perhaps we have tricked ourselves in seeking closure when what we are dealing with is episodic?

What may be helpful is to think of Jesus as an exceptional change agent and of the disciples as change champions whose numbers increase with each following generation! And the reaction of many of the religious leaders of his time as steeped in denial that caused them to resort to desperate measures to bring matters to closure.

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – FEBRUARY 2024 – AGING  GRACEFULLY

Many of my generation are finding themselves either in an aged care facility, or contemplating the prospect of one. It is preferable that the transition to aged care be slow and considered rather than sudden due to unanticipated deterioration or altered circumstances.

Some of us will have had exposure to aged care through parents, grandparents, or elderly relatives. Although a few aged care facilities did not emerge from COVID in a good light, the quality of aged care is ever changing and improving. After all, it is a highly regulated activity.

In truth, aging commences the moment we are born, it is just that its progress becomes more evident as the years advance.

By the time we reach the seventies we should have in place a financial plan, powers of attorney and a will and at least thought about eventual disposition of assets. Quite a strong school of thought favours approaching  advanced years with the intention of living in the family home for as long as possible. And here is where My Aged Care comes in. My Aged Care helps you to  find government funded aged care services and keeps clients informed about different types of care and help around the home.

An aged care assessment with a ranking of from one to four provides a starting point where a ranking of four indicates the highest level of care needed. Care services delivered as home care at subsidised rates may provide for some of the following:

Shopping, attending appointments, showering, dressing, home modificatons to make home safer, gardening, respite care, meals/cooking, ironing, cleaning, window cleaning,  washing ,cleaning spouts etc. They may form part of a home care package.

Recognizing that deteriorating health is leading inexorably to aged care can take some time, especially for those who have been in a loving relationship for some years. Those working in aged care believe transitioning into a facility may take six months. Respite care, apart from other purposes, can assist in making the transition process easier. But it serves other purposes too. If the principal carer is a partner, or close relative, they need a break from the intensity and stress of caring. The needs of an aging person might be managed, but they will only increase. That is when the professional carers are needed.

And while driving is precious, other drivers need to be protected from those no longer capable of driving. But loss of mobility increases the burden elsewhere.

Many of those providing home care find the hours they work suit their personal situation. Their remuneration is considered by many to be too low, and compensation for travel costs varies, depending on the provider. Thirty minutes allowed for travel from one assignment to another  can be insufficient. There  can  be a mismatch between the carers home and the availability of work close to home.

Many elderly people can extend living at home if their provider arrangements work well. They  can be still working well when the health situation of the recipient, not to mention the carer, demands a solution that requires 24 hour professional care, ie moving to an aged care facility.

Benefits that came as a result of care in the home included having an occupational therapist assess the home from a safety perspective. She made recommendations and saw that they were promptly implemented. We also discovered that items such as walking sticks, walkers, and wheelchairs should match your body size. We were pleasantly surprised to discover our medical benefits fund covered much of the cost of these.

We also discovered that many of the facilities for persons with disabilities have been designed by people who have never had to navigate a walker or wheelchair anywhere. Ease of access becomes a priority!

Sound advice suggested that the nine weeks of respite care that can be used following completion of an aged care assessment should be used to try various aged care providers. This helps inform an eventual choice of a permanent facility. There is a demand for respite places. Most aged care providers have only a small number of respite places available.

In choosing a permanent facility, the following factors become important:

• Proximity to likely visitors
• Standard of accommodation
• Cost
• Staff
• Activities
• Food
• Residents
• Response to concerns
• Management

There are difficulties in moving from what has been your home into aged care with loneliness and grieving being to the fore. I’m not sure that aged care providers have adequately dealt with this! And while all that glitters is not gold, new facilities do have an attraction.

Fortunately I had exposure to communal living through school  camps and two years in a university residential college, plus a number of residential management training programs, so was aware of some of the tensions that can arise when people who are strangers to one another come together. Most of the residents where I am probably resided within a 15kms radius of the aged care facility. This shared common background helps, and a number of the staff are also local. Residents are supportive and caring of one another.

Life style or activities are critical in aged care, although some facilities resource this much more than others, but they can account for how residents spend much of their time.

Residents interact mostly with staff. At Walmsley, 200 staff were engaged over the first12 months. Aged care is a growth industry and is regarded by employees as offering many career opportunities.

The quality of employees is of prime importance because they are at the front line of where the facility and residents interact. They come from a wide range of backgrounds with a notable number from Kenya and Nepal. Apart from local staff, others come from India, Sri Lanka, Burma, the Philippines, United Kingdom, Canada, Chad. A number travel some distance to work eg from Werribee, Craigieburn, Pakenham, Cranbourne, and Dandenong.

Most are studying. Their work calls for a variety of skills and being able to react quickly and appropriately to the unexpected. This multicultural workforce work effectively as a team and is very skilled in interpersonal relationships. The role is also physically and mentally demanding. It is a privilege to be cared for by such dedicated and professional carers!

One of the biggest challenges  for residents is to avoid falls. Falls can have nasty, even fatal outcomes. They may be caused by dehydration, inattention, complacency, blood pressure variations, medication, seizures, vertigo and other balance issues, uneven surfaces and steps. Care facilities are rigorous in investigating causes and implementing remedies.

Finally, visits to facilities are good medicine and much appreciated.

Lionel Parrott, Walmsley Aged Care resident

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – JANUARY 2024 – CHOICES

Being at the crossroad can often indicate arrival at a critical stage of life. Inevitably, choices and decisions prompted by those choices, indicate a close relationship between the two. Choosing to go forward may lead to progress forward, if the decision is soundly based. Turning sideways may indicate a new direction, or it can allow time for further consideration. Doing nothing can be the first step downwards!

Choices are a fact of life. Many are made almost automatically each day from the moment we wake up. What time to get up, to shower, what to wear, when to have breakfast and when to be about our daily affairs. Without decrying the significance of these choices, some are more important. These choices should be guided by a framework.

Consider for example, choosing to join a church community. For an increasing number of Australians this one is easy, the answer is no. But for those seeking to engage with a church community, criteria can be many and varied. Few will choose the first one they come to. Many will attend a number before making a commitment. Considering many possibilities increases the likelihood of a sound choice. Car parking may not be a criteria but compatibility with members will be. The minister will be an important factor, as will theological compatibility.

For those with strong interest in music, music will be a factor, while others may be attracted by a congregation with strong links to the community and practical programs assisting those in need. For young parents, activities for children will matter. Pastoral care will be a concern, and pastoral needs may well cause people to connect.

Ability to make sound choices while under pressure and with only seconds in which to act is valued by those assessing potential for sporting teams..

As a general rule I repeat advice given at a talk given about antiques. The presenter stressed that you should never buy or sell an antique without knowing its value. This advice could be extended to all commercial transactions.

It is useful to know when you are dealing with a narrow window of opportunity. This will occur when there is limited time available in which to make a choice.

When considering choices, there is merit in identifying who else might be affected. If a choice has impact on others they should be consulted, or alerted. Any objections they might have may be able to be dealt with. Indeed, a consideration with any choice are what consequences might result.

An old adage with choices is to try before you buy. Not possible in all situations, but recommended as part of the information gathering process. These days, the internet allows collecting information about the experience of others.

Some of the important choices will involve money. Having come through The Great Depression, my parents, and those of their generation, firmly believed that if you could not pay cash for an item, then you should wait until you could. Who offers Lay bys in this day and age? Debt makes everything affordable! But some financial decisions are quite imposing, such as when buying a house or a block of land. When faced with making choices that move you out of your depth it is essential to seek expert advice, preferably from several sources. And where money is involved, seek a financial adviser.

In considering accommodation, points of reference might be: rent or buy, proximity to education and employment, borrowing capacity, repayment schedule, savings capacity, age and condition of a house, aesthetic appeal, proximity of shops and medical support, size of block, potential resell value, passing traffic, and neighbours.

When transport is considered, we come to very serious choice business. One or even two cars. Do we need a car or a bicycle? Or even a motor bike? If a car, new or pre-owned? Which of the many makes will suit? A sedan, station wagon, whizz-bang? What colour? What kind of seating? What additional safety features. Is there a warranty? What servicing is required? Is road assist part of the deal? Which dealer should we deal with? What is the projected fuel consumption? Which fuel mix is most economic? Are we swayed by environmental considerations? Will we be towing a caravan or trailer? How many km’s or years before a replacement is needed? Wil it hold its value?

Other significant choices have to be made when acquiring whitegoods or household appliances.

And judging by the number of marriages ending in divorce, and partnerships being dissolved it seems evident that choices of a partner is not straightforward. Prenuptial agreements may imply mis-trust but may also, with hindsight, prove to be a prudent precaution.

Then there is the matter of education, careers, and employment. When it comes to pre-school and primary school, choices may be limited. Some parents are obviously prepared to pay for private primary schooling and home schooling is increasingly popular. Public schooling also does a good job. The main thing is to ensure primary schooling prepares a student well for secondary schooling. For parents, choosing a secondary school is challenging.

In choosing a secondary school the following may be significant:

• Cost
• Public or private
• Scholarship availability
• Staff stability
• Leadership, including principal and school board
• Post-school destinations of students
• Student retention rates
• Facilities
• School at work tours
• Comparisons of potential schools
• Extra- and co-curricula programs
• Reputation
• Beliefs
• Travel to and from school
• Subject choices
• Credentialling

In choosing a school, remember that the school that suited you or a brother/sister may not suit the next sibling.

The most critical choice of subjects are those that narrow future choices. In other words keep with mathematics as long as possible.

to sum up:

• Try or test drive before you buy
• Contrast and compare
• Seek expert advice
• Obtain more than one opinion
• Don’t just stand there, do something
• Research your options
• Evaluate outcomes
• Keep a replacement schedule
• Is it too good to be true?
• Have a plan B
• Be wary of halo influences
• File documentation
• Do not tolerate poor service
• Consider environmental impact

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – DECEMBER 2023 – HEAVEN

One description of Heaven is that it is a supernatural place where can be found deities, angels, souls, saints and venerated ancestors. I note that there is no mention of people like you and me! The word itself comes from Middle English Heven (attested in 1159). The word used in Old English was Heofen.

A better description is that it is the place where God lives and where the people of God will live one day.

I seem to recall, before I was 10 years old, asking my father where Heaven was and he gave a vague wave of his arms, pointing skywards.

When I attended primary school a student dashed in front of a truck with predictable results. Students lined Hobart Road as the cortege passed. I turned to my neighbour and asked if he thought the dead boy would go to heaven.” No” he replied .” He swore too much.” If swearing made us ineligible to enter heaven, most of us would be ineligible.

At the funeral of a colleague someone asked where we thought our colleague might be now. The reply, which raised a good laugh was “Probably engaged with God arguing the reasons why God does not exist!”

An article by Lifeway offers nine surprising facts about where true believers go:

• They won’t miss their old lives
• They won’t become angels
• They won’t be tempted
• They will have work to do
• They will still experience emotions
• They won’t know everything
• They will recognise one another
• They will avoid boredom
• What if loved ones are in Hell?

Periodically stories emerge from those who have ”been to the other side”. They state that “there’s nothing there.” Possibly that is because they got exactly what they expected – nothing.

Then there are our departed friends who promised to contact us if they can.  So far, apart from appearing in dreams, no one has succeeded in doing this.

In the last century, seances were popular, and probably still have some supporters. Some seances claim to contact other presences from among those who have died. Some people who have been hypnotised apparently recall persons they have been in earlier lives.

Better stories, although few in number, report point of death experiences, involving being met by a warm and gracious figure who presents a choice of going with them or returning to life, albeit in challenging circumstances. Stories such as this are very reassuring.

Then again, a British research scientist was asked what his expectations were when he died. He replied that he did not know, but could not wait to find out.

Somewhat starkly, one death notice announced to the world “I have ceased to exist.”

A very young person posed a profound question when he asked if dogs were in Heaven. Without his dog, Heaven had no appeal. Could man or woman’s best friend) not be part of the grand plan? But animals have been part of the plan since its inception.

The Bible is great at producing challenges that test our belief. Did God create the world and if so how and why? And where do we figure?

And yet where does the concept of eternal life, of paradise stand in our thinking? We, who are vain enough to accept that we are made in God’s likeness, in God’s image.  Is it just that being one of God’s people conveys a sense of entitlement. This type of thinking can be seen in the disciples at times, in discussions about who sits at God’s right hand.

How significant, I wonder, is escaping Hell and gaining eternal life an influence in attracting people to church? Or as a natural outcome of belief?  Or is entry to paradise assumed?

The Bible and some of the words of Jesus provide some clues. Perhaps we were in Heaven in the very beginning, in the Garden of Eden, and have been on a round trip? Past prophets appeared before Moses so they have certainly come from somewhere. And where was Jesus between the Crucifixion and the Resurrection?

The Crucifixion presents the robber recognising Jesus. Despite his having led probably not an exemplary life his recognition means he will be with Jesus in Paradise.

We are informed that faith makes us whole and that Jesus goes to prepare a place for us. And we are advised that wealth gathered on earth is of little account.

Prayers and creeds indicate life everlasting as a given, and Heaven as God’s place.

Perhaps one of most helpful concepts are Jesus saying I go to prepare a place for you, and that in my Father’s house there are many mansions.

How do we perceive Heaven? Is it a perfect version of earth? A place of peace where the lion lays down with the lamb? A Place where the final commandment of loving one another as I have loved you? A world in which there is no illness, no pollution, no homelessness, no poverty, no evil, no cause for concern?

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – NOVEMBER 2023 – WORRY

Many of the songs written before and after the World Wars express a simple and easily understood wisdom, songs such as “Pack up your troubles” which I think goes like this:

Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and smile, smile, smile,

Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag

Smile boys that’s the style.

What’s the use of worrying?

It never was worthwhile

So pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and smile, smile, smile.

Despite these well-chosen words sung around camp fires by many of my generation, could it be that worry is on the increase? Experienced and perennial worriers will tell us there is much to be concerned about: financial security, debt levels, safety, peace, global warming, relationships, housing, crime, and so on.

Worry seems to occur in the following contexts:

• That which has not yet happened, and which may not happen at all. Over-anticipation, if you like
• Things that are really none of your business or beyond your control
• Events that happened some time ago ,but for which closure has not occurred
• A misunderstanding
• An overactive mind – figments of imagination

But although a few people live what is described as a charmed life, most will encounter adversity at one time or another. Worry can be concern about capacity to cope. Worry needs to be kept in perspective, and not allowed to dominate our lives. Worry exists for a purpose, like a yellow traffic light, it signifies proceed with caution. The upside is it can be a positive. One manager stated that when he wished to introduce major change, he first always presented a draft outline to the worriers. They would identify likely objections to his proposals. If he could deal with them, his proposal had a good chance of being successful!

The media comments periodically upon a cousin of worry, anxiety, noting that levels within the community have shifted . An assumption that worry fluctuates seems reasonable. Quite probably for a small proportion  of the community it is never an issue. For most it is dealt with, occasionally with a struggle, but life moves on. But for a few people who concern us here, it is an ever present form of addiction. They cannot free themselves of the grip of worry. When one worrisome issue is dealt with another will be found to take its place.

A word I like to describe worrying is fretting. Compulsive worrying has little to recommend it. Perhaps it is a form of adrenaline. A true worrier has tragedy written all over their face. They emit tragedy and drama. Seldom, if ever, looking happy. Whatever the issue, it will always be some other person’s fault.

If experience is a great teacher, it does not impact upon the worrier, who will make the same mistakes over and over.

A minister who once worked on a program to rehabilitate individuals sleeping rough stated that this was no easy overnight fix. Returning to more conventional life styles could take up to two years as behaviours had to be unlearned and inevitable relapses managed. Much the same may be said for dyed in the wool worriers.

Many initiatives might be tried to bring worrying under control. For many, the idea of a permanent cure is ludicrous. The best outcome may be learning to manage the situation!

Things that might be tried are someone to manage finances and assets or act as trustee. For many reasons someone to keep a close eye on medications regimes is adviseable. Those who hit a wall periodically think medications are no longer needed.

An exercise and fitness regime can be helpful. A healthy diet is a positive as can other aspects of health such as regular check ups with doctors, dentists, opticians, audiologists, and podiatrists.

Counsellors in various forms may prove helpful as may music, singing, music therapy, meditation and spirituality. After all, someone invited those who are heavy laden to present to him for rest.

Worriers have often low self-esteem, so being placed in a supportive and encouraging environment can boost self image.

Possibly because worry and financial stress are often linked, gambling holds out the lure of a quick way out. Although gambling can meet other needs, such as social contact, the damage it does outweighs the good

Our ancestors seem to have known a thing or two. Surely the well worn kitbag signifies closure? Those who worry have too many issues that should have been placed in the old kit bag many years ago. Instead  they are like a dog gnawing at a bone.

Worriers tend to be gullible and self-medication can also pose issues, and they are self-obsessed, caring more about their issues rather than those of anyone else.

But there is no shortage of people attracted to helping others. If you find yourself in this position set very tight guidelines. Failure to do this and you could find yourself being drawn into a never-ending spider’s web> Solutions only occur when the worrier takes genuine steps to solve them.

In the mean time, dig out that old kit bag – the song says it all!

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – OCTOBER 2023 – ETHICS

A rather bland statement coming from a search engine suggests that Ethics is a branch of Philosophy. dealing with concepts of right and wrong behaviour.  It is true that it’s home in universities has been in Departments of Philosophy, but in more recent times it has made an appearance in business and MBA programs.

A further definition is that ethics is a written guideline that provides practical guidance on how to comply with legal obligations or standards in a specific work or professional context.

Psychology Today describes ethics as a moral code guiding individual choices and behaviours through out life, and is concerned with rights, responsibilities and use of language.

But ethics has a much longer history than many would be aware of. The Ten Commandments might come to mind as an example of an ancient and sophisticated work on ethics. Most biblical critics now accept that the earliest books in the Bible built upon an earlier oral tradition.

One of the earliest documented codes of ethics is the Hammurabi Code.  This is attributed to an ancient King (1795 – 1750BC) and comprises 282 laws covering just about all possibilities – commerce, criminal law, citizen’s rights (even of slaves, and women). Described as a moral and political masterpiece and commended for its fairness. Details of the code were discovered as recently as 1901. It is considered to be preceded by four earlier Sumerian codes eg Code of ER Nammu.

Ethics form a fundamental framework for communities needing consensual harmony in order to survive. The British philosopher Hobbes no doubt had this in mind when suggesting the alternative was life that would be nasty, brutish, and short.

Current thinking about our First Nations people puts the foundations of their communities at around 40,000 years, and some would accept an even older date. And it now seems that at the time when the first settlers arrived, First Nations communities were ordered by a complex set of ethical guidelines passed down through many generations by an oral tradition. These guidelines still exercise influence today.

It seems rather ironic that ethical guidelines apply to the conduct of war. They appear to cover understandings about use of weaponry, respect for hospital ships, treatment of prisoners, formal declarations, treatment of citizens, respect for neutrality, and trials for committing war crimes

Without decrying philosophy and ethics, it would seem that ethics has been with us for a long time, and perhaps now with a new intensity. The difference is it now has new labels and new priorities. We are considering here vision and mission statements, codes of practice, taking of oaths, covenants proclaiming mutual undertakings, legislation in its various forms, statements of purpose or intent, peace treaties, fair trade agreements. Topics receiving attention are AI, treatment of animals, the environment and impact statements, utilisation of resources, occupational health and safety, space travel and planets, stakeholder obligations.

Any of the statements above could be worthy of more detailed comment. Codes of behaviour for professional groups and alleged transgressions of them often become a matter for self-regulation. This is dismissed by some as ineffectual. Businesses resist any attempts by governments to look too closely into how they conduct their affairs. But it would appear that the number of regulatory bodies is increasing. Reporting ever larger and increasing profits is raising eyebrows and questions about other standards by which organisations might be judged.

Organisation culture has been a recent topic of interest and another activity for consultants. A group specialising in understanding and shaping organisational culture surveyed its own members and discovered that its own team assessed its current cultural practices were at the opposite end of what members considered to be desirable.

Sanctions for ethical misdemeanours seem to be of limited effect. In a recent novel I read, someone facing a lengthy prison sentence was asked “Why?” and replied that the chance to become wealthy overnight was irresistible.

We may have reached a point where ethical markers are simply just good business. A number of investors now proclaim themselves to be following ethical investment guidelines. Those seeking to proclaim their ethical practices might address how they treat with the following:

• Stakeholders
• Employees
• Board members
• Prospective employees
• Customers/clients
• Creditors
• Debtors
• Environmental impact
• Donations
• Complaints
• Product/service quality
• Occupational Health and Safety
• Compliance
• AI
• Cyber Security and data integrity

It is not uncommon for some preachers to explain sin as a turning of one’s back to God. This explanation can  be helpful. In the context of ethics, another offering is to talk in terms of a moral compass. One literary critic described “The Slap” as being full of characters who had lost their moral compass. Most of us do work to an individual moral compass. The true sin may well be in consciously stepping over a moral compass guideline and being cognisant of doing so.

Lionel Parrott

NEWS FROM MONTROSE – SEPTEMBER 2023 – EMPATHY AND MANAGING

The actions and performance of managers is unlikely to capture the attention of members of the public in the same way as a national sports team riding a wave of success. Managers, whether in private, public, or not-for-profit sectors only come to public attention if something significant has been mishandled. Downright dishonest behaviour can also put managing under scrutiny.

An aspect of managing occasionally coming to public attention is remuneration. What is a talented individual worth?  How are million dollar a year plus salaries to be justified? What should be the relativity of remuneration between a footballer, personal care attendant, teacher, farmer, and doctor? How are bonuses determined? Why do some executives receive generous departure packages? Why do so few corporate criminals serve jail time, if convicted?

A friend of mine suggested that an interesting topic for an opinion article would be managers and empathy. Most of the unpleasant tasks in an organisation fall to a manager. One definition of empathy is that it is to understand and share the feelings of another. But what feelings can you have for those whose management expertise is spearheading a downsizing or rightsizing program.? One specialist in this activity was known as “Chainsaw.”

Then there are those managers told to reduce their staff head count by a certain number. They are also reportedly told that if they find this too difficult, then place your own name at the top of the list of those who are to go.

It is hardly surprising then, that the work history of many managers today reveals they have been involved in managing retrenchment programmes, and have been retrenched themselves. Some have received more than one retrenchment package.

Empathy involves insightfulness, into oneself, but also in to those you deal with. But whether self-knowledge can be assumed is doubtful. One manager I worked with attended a management training program at head office for senior managers. They were invited to complete a questionnaire that would provide an insight into their management style. Every person attending the course self- assessed as pursuing a democratic management style. The questionnaire responses suggested otherwise, the style of each was autocratic.

But management no longer involves direction of large groups of people. More likely will it involve leading small groups constantly forming and reforming. A recent graduate told me his first experience of managing came when six months into his first job he was asked to look after a new employee.

Can managing be in any way linked to having a sixth sense? There are those who appear to have an innate sense that enables them to make the right decision even in complex circumstances. It is possible empathy and a sixth sense are linked.

Many managers find themselves thrust into a managerial role because they are good at their job. This does not always work out. Managing is a complex activity and requires sufficient time to conduct it.

Those wishing to reflect more on management may find the one minute series of books by Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson helpful. In their book The One Minute Manager, they identify management as empowering employees with success coming through one minute goals, one minute praisings, and one minute redirections. They stress that each individual is responsible for his or her own success.

Is there a lesson here for the church? We expect ministers to have empathy. We do expect them to be leaders. But managers – perhaps not!

Most of us will have experienced a number of managers and will be aware that they come in all shapes and sizes. Our experiences will have enabled us to have identified preferred and not preferred ways of managing.

Preferred attributes might include loyalty, providing opportunities,  dealing with issues and not sitting on them, giving feedback, communicating what is happening, consulting those affected by change, well regarded by other managers.

One experienced manager placed great store on being able to “read the play” ie to be able to know what is going on, and its likely effect. The net result is a capacity for being able to position a group to advantage.

Some American training material identified a desirable management trait as “managing by walking around”. Good managers do not lock themselves in their office. They make sure they know what is going on.

Experienced managers very quickly discover that one style of management does not fit all. Good management calls for flexibility in recognising those who need close direction from those who prefer to be left to get on with it.

In essence then, empathy will come naturally to those with a high level of self-awareness and self-understanding. One old saying was that “we most readily recognise in others what we know most to be true of ourselves.

We might ask ourselves what management style did Jesus display? Well he certainly had empathy and his followers seemed to want close direction and certainty. When presented with a problem, he dealt with it. And his focus was more upon leadership. The managers and implementers came later!

Lionel Parrott